


Rainbow Connection

by felisblanco



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Struggling university student Jared gets a job at a daycare center fighting dirty diapers and trying to convince the kids he’s not a giant monster who’s going to eat them. Especially little Marie who is his favorite, possibly because her daddy happens to be hot as hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [winchestergirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchestergirl/gifts).



> Kid!fic. Yeah, I went there. Mentions of child molestation that didn’t happen, but the words might possibly trigger, so just to be on the safe side, beware.  
> Past Jensen/Joanna, Jared/Sandy. FYI Joanna is a horrible person in this fic. Sorry, someone had to be the bad guy. Tom Welling isn’t too lovely either. And Chad is his usual douchey self. To be honest, this fic is filled with the usual clichés (Jared’s giant dick, Jensen having a not so healthy relationship with coffee, Danneel being kickass, etc.) but you know, clichés are clichés for a reason and it’s not just because the writer is lazy. I just happen to love those particular clichés.  
> By longstanding tradition I’m posting fic on New Year’s Eve. And as an early birthday present for [](http://winchestergirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**winchestergirl**](http://winchestergirl.livejournal.com/) because it’s her birthday on Friday. <3 Title from the [song with the same name](http://www.sendspace.com/file/0f2k6i), sung by Kermit and Miss Piggy. Just because. Unbeta’d and all that.

“You’re kidding, right? Babysitter? You’re gonna be a fucking _babysitter_?”

“It’s a daycare center,” Jared told Chad for the fifteenth time at least and rinsed the suds off the last plate in the sink. “It’s not the same.”

“Whatever.” Chad waved his hand dismissively. “Dude, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you have to cut your dick off. Babysitting is for twelve year old girls.”

Jared sighed and pulled the plug, draining the sink of its now rather murky soap water. It was closing in on midnight and everyone else was already gone home, leaving the two of them to finish cleaning up at the _Pasta Basta_ restaurant, downtown LA. As usual that meant Jared cleaned up while Chad slouched in a chair, annoying him.

“It’s not babysitting,” he huffed and grabbed the sponge, wiping down the sink. “I’ll be teaching them stuff.”

“Yeah, like how to poop their pants and pour oatmeal over their head. Seriously, man, I have nephews. They’re like monkeys, except uglier.”

“How does that not surprise me?” Jared muttered but Chad didn’t seem to hear him.

“You better shower and change before you get home, man. I don’t want some stinking baby cooties on our couch.”

Jared turned around, spattering drops of water into Chad’s face as he shook the sponge at him. “Hey, I put up with you smelling off incense and lube every time you get home from The Pleasure Planet. Not to mention the “extra” jobs you do behind the counter.” He shook his head as he wrung out the sponge and then dried his hands on a dishtowel. “At least cooties are better than crabs.”

Chad choked on his gum, coughing and spluttering until he finally looked up, dark pink in the face, eyes widened in shock. “How did you know about that?”

Jared blinked. He suddenly itched all over. “I didn’t. I was joking. Seriously, you got crabs?”

Chad blushed even deeper. “No.” He stood up, grabbing his jacket. “Are we done here or what?”

“You got crabs. Dude, that’s so… Really?” Jared couldn’t help laughing. “Oh man, you’re such a whore.”

“Fuck you.”

“You wish,” Jared shot back. He rolled his eyes when Chad made his the-only-reason-I-put-up-with-the-whole-gay-thing-is-because-you’re-my-best-friend-but-don’t-shove-it-in-my-face expression, because seriously Jared had had to suffer through too many stories of Chad’s sexcapades for him to have any reason to be so prissy.

“At least I have a dick to whore around with, pussy,” Chad said obscenely, grabbing his crotch like he really had anything to brag about.

“For now. The way you’re going at it it’s bound to turn black and fall off any day now.” Jared gave him a smug smile. “And I have a dick, remember, or do you want to compare sizes again? Sure you can stand the humiliation?”

Chad scowled. “Shut up. I have a huge dick, man. What you have is a freak of nature. Beside, you never use it so it’s a total waste of meat.”

“I use it,” Jared said defensively. “Just because I don’t sleep around with every pretty face I see…”

“You haven’t had sex in over a year, man. And you haven’t had…” Chad lifted his hands, crooking his fingers. “… ‘gay’ sex _ever_.”

Jared rolled his eyes, grabbing his own jacket from the hook by the door. “You know, gay is actually a real word. You don’t have to ‘air-quote’ it,” he said, mimicking Chad’s stupid gesture.

“Whatever. Besides, until you fuck someone in the ass you’re not really gay.”

Jared briefly fought the urge to hit Chad over the head, but really, giving in was so much more satisfying.

“Ow! What the fuck, man?”

Jared gave him a pointed look. “It’s not just a sex thing, asshole. It’s… It just is, ok? And I am. Trust me, I am.”

“I still say it’s just your brain frying from having sex with Sandy. Dude, she was hot. Why the hell did you ever break up with her?”

Seriously, how many times had Chad’s mom dropped him on his head? “Gay, remember? That kinda makes the whole girlfriend thing inappropriate.”

“Yeah, yeah. So… really? Babysitting?”

Jared pushed Chad out the backdoor of the small restaurant and locked it behind them with a groan. It was going to be a long walk home.

\---------

He was late. He was late and they were gonna hate him. Just take one look at him and BAM, no more job. Because seriously, like Chad had pointed out to him repeatedly, who would hire him to look after their kids? He was like the exact opposite of everything he was sure parents were looking for as a responsible role model for their children:

A gay guy who had absolutely no experience working with kids, except to look after his nephew and nieces sometimes when he was home in Texas. Twenty, and only a freshman in college because life, or more specifically _money_ , hated him. Not his fault he got hit with the flu from Hell his first year and missed most of his exams. Took him another year to dig himself out of that particular financial hole.

Especially considering he kept losing his jobs for reasons totally out of his control. Like the store manager’s daughter crushing on him and having him fired when he didn’t want to sleep with her. (Hello! He had a girlfriend! At the time. And then, later, he was gay, so really, not in any girl-fucking mood.) Or the time Chad set fire to the pizza place they were both working at. Or the time they got caught smoking weed in the backroom of the bowling alley. (They were on a break!) Or the time Chad…

Hmm… He was starting to see a pattern. Well, Chad wouldn’t be working here so maybe he got a chance after all.

Plus, this time he had a plan. And even if his plans had a tendency to go completely wrong, he really couldn’t afford screwing up this whole babysi-… daycare thing. So a simple but strict plan was in order.

1) Instantly put stop to any sexual tension that might come up. He wasn’t vain, but he wasn’t oblivious either. And for some reason girls tended to find the whole too tall and awkwardly clumsy thing attractive. Boys, unfortunately, not so much. Hence the no dating.

2) No Chad. He loved the guy, in a totally ‘I wouldn’t suck your dick, even if you paid me’ way but he still was a douche and bad things kept happening whenever he was around. Like losing jobs.

3) No weed. Not that he would ever smoke anything with lots of little kids around anyway, but it was a good rule to have for any job really, he knew that now.

4) And this was the most important rule of all, don’t tell anyone he was gay.

He wasn’t unaware of the irony that dumping rule number four would probably take care of rule number one but he couldn’t take that chance. He’d heard enough moronic comments about all gay men being pedophiles to realize this wasn’t the right place to be waving the rainbow flag. He had no wish to get fired before he even started. So even if it sucked stepping back into the closet, at least while he was working, it seemed to be the only option.

Despite Chad’s constant comments on the matter Jared knew he wasn’t what people would call flamboyantly gay. Ok, so yes, he did like a hint of color in his wardrobe, and that color might be a bit on the pink side, but hey, pink was the new black! Everyone said so. And maybe he had a tendency to be over affectionate with people, guys and girls alike, but he was just a very tactile person. That wasn’t a gay thing, that was just a Jared thing. And he didn’t care what Chad said, liking whipped cream and sprinkles in his coffee was not girly at all, it was just his sweet tooth talking.

Bottom line, unless he outright told people, he didn’t really seem to register on their gaydar. Whether they were gay or straight.

Jared paused. Did straight people have a gaydar? Or should that technically be considered a straightdar? He frowned in thought then shrugged. Whether they had or not, everyone seemed to think Jared was as straight as an arrow. He’d had to tell his mother three times that he was gay and still she’d kept on repeating, “But you’re so tall.” Then again, the only other gay man she knew was Jared’s cousin Chris and truth be told, he was a little on the short side. Not that anyone ever dared to tell him that. For being a gay midget he was one scary son-of-a-bitch.

But really, sometimes Jared wondered if he should just take a day to walk around wrapped up in the rainbow flag and nothing else, just to get the whole ‘coming out’ thing over with. He was getting pretty tired of having the same, “No, really, I am,” conversation over and over again.

Didn’t help that, as Chad loved to repeatedly point out, he hadn’t even kissed a guy yet so he had no proof. Like maybe secretly taken pictures – or possibly a video would be better, considering how easy it was to manip pictures these days? – of him making out with someone. All he would need was one guy, any guy really, to kiss him in front of a camera and voilà! Proof! Then even his mother would have to give up and stop trying to hook him up with their neighbors’ daughters.

(On second thought maybe that video idea wasn’t such a good one. At least not with Chad in the house. Jared didn’t really want his mother stumbling across a video of her son doing naked gay things on YouTube. The one with him dancing at Kristen’s party had been bad enough.)

He’d tried to get Chad to kiss him in the middle of campus but Chad was an awful best friend who valued his (rather delusionally proportioned) manhood more than Jared’s gayness. Seriously, sometimes Jared wondered why he hadn’t kicked Chad out the minute he climbed into the neighborhood playground sandbox and started pouring mud over Jared’s head eighteen years ago. In some ways Chad was like herpes; impossible to get rid off and screwing up a number of potential dates just by his presence. If he weren’t so damn loyal and really the best friend Jared had ever had, not to mention good at videogames, Jared probably would have killed him a long time ago.

He was finally at the gate leading to the playground that surrounded the daycare center. It was attached to a pretty sturdy fence and he eyed it warily, wondering if its purpose was to keep the children in or hypothetical kidnappers out. A very disturbing image of the daycare’s teachers pressed up against the fence, crying for someone to rescue them from hundreds of kids biting their legs, suddenly popped into his head. He blinked. It wouldn’t be that bad, would it? This wasn’t Gatlin, Nebraska. In fact, he was pretty sure there wasn’t a cornfield within a hundred miles radius.

Satisfyingly reassured Jared pushed open the gate and walked up the sandy concrete path leading to an old house. It was a two-store building with a small tower adding an extra third level, if only with one room that had windows on all sides. It had yellow painted wooden walls with white windowpanes and doors and had obviously been remodeled from its original purpose as a rather modest family home. The playground had one big sandbox with shovels and buckets lying beside rather pathetic looking sandcastles, a small climbing castle with a slide, a seesaw, a small merry-go-round and some swings. A couple of tricycles had been abandoned at the side of the path and a lone mitten lay on the small patch of grass.

Jared paused and looked around. The swings were staying mercifully still. Really, there were few things as creepy as playgrounds, he thought. If that merry-go-round made any attempt at turning on its own he was getting out of there faster than you could say Jack Nicholson.

Maybe it was time he laid off the horror movies…

Jared could hear sounds through the open windows: laughing, screeching, crying; the kind of noises that had most guys his age running in the opposite direction. The idea was tantalizing. He hesitated with his fingers gripping the doorknob. It felt stupid being scared of kids that hardly came up to his kneecaps but fuck, he kinda was. Hanging out with his two cousins for a few hours wasn’t anything like having to be in a room full of kids all day. And these were really tiny kids. Like only a couple of years old maybe.

What if Chad was right and all they did was poop their pants and pour oatmeal over their heads? Really, was he cut out to deal with that? And more importantly, could he handle the responsibility? A little kid’s life in his hands. Literally every time he had to pick one up. Being clumsy wouldn’t be cute anymore when he’d dropped a kid on its head and given it brain damage.

On the other hand he was really, really broke…

What the hell. Basically it was just playing with kids all day, right? He couldn’t really screw that up, could he?

Taking a deep breath Jared turned the knob and stepped inside.

 

 

Twenty minutes later he followed Samantha, the woman who ran the daycare center, out of her office. He was now even more nervous, his stomach filled with fluttering butterflies as he stepped over the random rubber boots and knitted mittens littering the floor. Sand stuck to the bottom of his socks, his shoes left dutifully by the door as requested. He’d have to get himself some flip-flops or something. He stepped into a small puddle of mud and grimaced as the dampness soaked through his sock, making his toes squishy wet. She noticed his expression and smiled apologetically.

“They just got in again from playing outside. We haven’t mopped the floors yet.”

He nodded and she gave him another smile, sweeping her hand across the small hall.

“Every child has a shelf and hook where they keeps their things. Most parents make sure to label their kid’s clothes with their name but stray things are gathered in the basket over there. Breakfast is around 8:30, lunch… well, now. Afternoon snack is around three o’clock. Most days the children go outside for about two hours in the morning, then after lunch they nap and…” She caught the increasingly dazed look on his face and smiled. “Well, you’ll get the hang of it soon enough. Now, this is where you’ll spend most your time.”

She’d stopped outside a door that had RAINBOWLAND spelled out in bright cut-out letters on the front. Jared just barely kept from rolling his eyes. How ironic. He could hear laughing and screaming on the other side, the racket enough to make his head hurt. This whole idea was starting to seem worse and worse.

She seemed to read his mind again because she smiled and said, “You’ll get used to it after a few days. Soon enough you’ll stop noticing.”

He nodded dutifully, even if he doubted that very much.

“In here we have the youngest children, one to three years old. You do realize what that means?”

He nodded again, braving a smile. “Lots of poop.”

She laughed. “Well, yes. But it also means they are at a very important developing stage. Walking, talking, learning to play with others… It’s all a big part of becoming social beings as well as individuals.” She raised her eyebrows at him, whether in challenge or offering him a way out he wasn’t sure. “It’s a big responsibility. You really think you are ready to handle it?”

Jared swallowed. He didn’t feel ready to handle one kid, let alone a dozen or however many they were in there. Sounded like a whole zoo of monkeys.

“I think I’m willing to try,” he said, trying to sound confident. “I mean, I did train my dogs after all. And they didn’t even have diapers.”

She gave him a disapproving glare. “They are not dogs, they are children.”

“I know, I was just…” Jared blushed. Damn. His jokes had a tendency to fall short on pretty much everyone except Chad and Megan, his little sister. Which probably said more about their maturity than his comic talents.

“My momma always says I’m great with kids,” he assured her. “I’ve babysat my nephews a lot of times. And I have a roommate who has the brain capacity of a five year old,” he added, again trying to lighten the mood.

Her eyes warmed immediately. “You never mentioned. That is so nice of you, participating in such a program.”

Oh man. Chad was gonna kill him. “Uh… yeah. Well, someone has to.” He tried to look solemn.

She gave him another smile and then nodded toward the door. “You ready?”

He swallowed and put on his brightest grin. “Yep.”

She opened the door and the noise level skyrocketed. He almost stepped back in shock and when she motioned him inside he took a deep breath before following.

There were little kids everywhere. Sitting on the floor, climbing on the small chairs and crawling under the tables. Jared couldn’t remember ever seeing so many children gathered together in one room. It was rather terrifying.

Samantha clapped her hands to get their attention, as well as of the two girls currently laying the table ready for lunch.

“Hey. This is Jared. He’s going to be working with us. Everyone say, ‘Hello, Jared.’”

Twenty pairs of bright eyes traveled up his body. And up and up, getting wider and wider, until all the children sat dumbfounded on the floor, necks cracked as far back as they could go, staring up at him.

“Hello,” Jared said and waved awkwardly.

The children blinked and then, as if on cue, they all opened their mouths and high pitched screaming pierced the air. Jared stared in horror as the room erupted into a state of chaos with children scurrying in all directions, disappearing under chairs and tables, or in one case, a toy box, and a little girl clapped her hands over her eyes, wailing for her mommy.

“What? What did I do?” he asked in panic, dropping his voice down to a whisper when his words only made them cry harder.

“Maybe you should get down.”

He looked at Samantha, blinking in confusion at the rather amused look on her face. “What?”

She smiled and shook her head. “You’re a giant, Jared. Imagine what you look like to them. Sit down on the floor and just wait. They’ll come around soon enough.”

Oh. He sank down to the floor as slowly and carefully as he could, folding his legs and hunching his back to make himself as small as possible. The screaming subsided some and Samantha gave him an approving nod before turning to the girls. “I leave him in your hands. Don’t scare him off on his first day, ok?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of him,” said the dark haired girl, giving him a wicked grin and waving Samantha off. “I’m Sophia, by the way, and this is Alli.”

Alli waved at him, continuing to set the table with brightly colored plastic plates, cups and utensils. He waved back cautiously, aware of dozens of wide eyes staring at him. They were mostly quiet by now but somewhere to his left he could still hear someone sobbing wetly, like there was a river of snot pouring from the kid’s nose. He was too afraid to move to look over and see if it was really as gross as it sounded. The small girl had stopped crying for her mommy and was peeking through her fingers, eyeing him suspiciously as if Jared might mistake her of being on the menu.

“Hey. Shouldn’t I…” He lowered his voice even further when the little girl now tried to cover her ears as well as her eyes, rather unsuccessfully considering how small her hands were. “Shouldn’t I help you with that?” he whispered.

Alli laughed. “Nah. You just sit there and try to look friendly.”

“I am! I’m very friendly. I’m like the friendliest guy ever.” He dared a quick look around, horrified by the fear in the children’s eyes. “Why are they so scared of me?”

“Well…” Sophia tilted her head and studied him. “You’re about ten feet tall. You’re a stranger. You’re a man…”

He wasn’t sure whether he should feel insulted or not. “They’re scared of me because I’m a guy?”

She shrugged. “Not that many in this neighborhood that have both parents. And we don’t get many guys working in this field. It’s a shame really, the kids could use a positive male model.” She gave him a grin as she put giant jugs of juice on the table. “Guess that will be your job.”

Jared swallowed. Positive male model? That didn’t really sound like him. “Uhm… okay.” He looked around, smiling hesitantly at the sea of small faces. “How do I do that?”

“Well, the fact that you willingly signed up to work here is enough to give me faith that you’ll do just fine,” she answered, pouring juice into each mug. “Ok, kids. Lunchtime! Come sit down.”

A few came running immediately but most of the kids just continued to stare at Jared, apparently too afraid to move. He shifted on the floor and they shrunk back even further. “Maybe I should just…” He scooted over until he was sitting with his back against the wall, as far from the tables as possible. “This better?”

“Give them time,” Alli said reassuringly. “Took me two days before any of them wanted to talk to me.”

She lifted up the small girl who was still hiding her face behind her hands and carried her over to her seat. “Here you go, sweetie. Meatballs, your favorite!”

The girl peeked down at the plate through her fingers and after a moment’s hesitation grabbed her fork in one chubby hand and started stuffing her mouth, the other hand still covering half her face and eyes darting to Jared every few seconds. He gave her a smile and she almost choked on her food. Damn. This wasn’t going well.

“They didn’t all scream in fear though, did they? When you started, I mean,” he asked hopelessly, feeling more out of place than ever in his life.

“No, but three kids peed on me in one week.”

Ok, that sounded worse than the screaming. Although chances were he would get his fair share of bodily fluids as well.

He looked up when Sophia handed him a pink plastic plate carrying a mountain of spaghetti and meatballs. “Here. Want juice or water?” she asked as she turned back to the table.

He stared at the plate in his hands, the smell making his stomach growl. “We get food?”

She turned around and looked at him. “You don’t know anything about this job, do you?”

He blushed. “No. I mean, I know there’s poop and stuff. Right?”

“Oh yeah. Plenty of poop,” she laughed. “I’m not gonna lie, it can be exhausting. But it ain’t without its perks. You’ll see.”

He nodded. “Yeah, happy smiles and such, right?”

She shrugged. “I was more thinking free food and naptime, but whatever rocks your boat.”

Jared sat up straighter. “We get to take naps?”

Suddenly this whole thing sounded a lot better.

\----------

When the alarm rang butt-fuck-early Friday morning Jared’s first instinct was to murder the offending clock in the most gruesome way. Possibly involving a sledgehammer. Instead he rolled over and blindly reached out with one hand, slamming the alarm off before collapsing on his back, bleary eyes blinking up at the ceiling. He was totally exhausted and just the thought of getting up was enough to make him want to weep.

He was working at the daycare center three days a week, the restaurant every night except Sundays, and he had two assignments to finish before his class on Monday. For the hundredth time that week he wondered if he’d possibly been suffering from a brief moment of insanity when he decided to apply for a second job. Especially this kind of job.

The kids still wouldn’t talk to him. Hell, most of them cowered in fear if he tried to come anywhere near them. Every time he stood up to his full length at least a third of them started crying and the rest backed away, staring up at him with huge eyes. They still hadn’t managed to convince Michael to come out from under the toy box he’d been using as a hiding place. And little Marie still screamed for her mommy every time he tried to talk to her. It was a wonder the daycare center hadn’t had a mob of angry parents march up, ready to lynch him for making their kids dream about a giant Padalecki coming to eat them every night.

So far he’d only been working afternoons but Fridays were going to be his full days and he was dreading it. Nine hours of screaming children running away from him in fear. Oh joy.

He grumpily got up and padded barefoot to the bathroom, ignoring Chad who was sitting on the toilet, flipping through some skinny magazine while going about his business. Jared hoped it was limited to peeing.

“Mornin’,” he grumbled sleepily.

Chad jerked awake and frantically attacked him with the magazine. “Dude, I’m on the can! Get your gay ass out of here.”

“Fuck off, Chad. I’m late. I have to take a shower.”

He dropped his boxers, smirking at Chad’s horrified squeak, and then he turned on the water and stepped under it, not waiting until it turned warm. Better to wake him up anyway.

“We have rules, man! No naked bathroom sharing and no jerking off when…”

Jared tuned out Chad’s muttering while he lathered up his hair and then did a quick shower shave, hoping he wasn’t missing any obvious spots. He was just turning off the water when Chad’s rambling finally paused and then there came a bright whistle.

“Holy shit! Hey, isn’t this Sandy? Oh wow!”

“What?” Jared stuck his head out from behind the shower curtain, sweeping wet hair from his eyes. “Where?”

“Here,” Chad said gleefully and raised the magazine, unfolding the center. “Shit. Remind me why you broke up with her again?”

“Gay. G.A.Y. Ring a bell?” Jared growled, trying to grab the magazine. “Gimme that!”

“Nuhuh. Man, she was hot with her clothes _on_ but _this_ … Holy fuck.” Chad leered sordidly then yelped when Jared hauled him off the toilet and put him in a headlock, bare ass in the air. “Get off me! You’re fucking naked, asshole! And wet! Stop molesting me, you fucking pervert!”

“Give me the magazine or I’ll put your head down the damn toilet. Which… Yeurgh! What the hell did you eat yesterday?”

“Ok, ok! Take it!” Chad thrust the now wrinkled magazine at Jared and desperately tried to haul up his pants that were sliding down to the floor. “You’re a fucking asshole, Jared. Let me go!”

Jared let go off him with an evil laugh that died quickly when he finally got a decent look at the picture Chad had been ogling. Fuck. It _was_ Sandy. More or less naked and spread out across the centerfold. His fingers left wet prints on the pages, somehow making the whole thing seem even more sordid. Shit.

It had been a year since they broke up but he still felt protective of her and the thought of thousands or even millions of dirty men like Chad jerking off to her picture... Dammit! And she hadn’t even told him. He felt ridiculously hurt.

“Can I have it back? Yo, Jarhead! I paid good money for that!”

“You stole it from your work,” Jared said drily, crumbling the magazine in his hand. “And no, you can’t have it back.”

“I’ll just steal another,” Chad bit back. “Dude, she’s not your girlfriend anymore. What do you care?”

“I care, ok? I… Fuck you, Chad. You wanna steal another, then fucking steal another. But don’t bring it here. I don’t want to see it.”

He violently ripped up the magazine and stormed into the small kitchen, thrusting the tattered pages into the trash. Slimy spaghetti and onions slid across Sandy’s naked ass, glowing unnaturally tanned on the glossy page, and he fought the urge to grab the bag and run with it out into the dumpster. Heaving for breath he looked up and found Mrs. Jenkins, their elderly neighbor, standing at her own kitchen window, watching him with wide eyes. Suddenly she grinned and gave him a little wave, one eye closing in a wink. He frowned. Wha-?

He looked down. He was completely naked and their window had no curtains.

Instead of giving into the urge to cover himself he smiled stiffly back and then turned around and stalked into the bedroom. What was one old lady seeing his dick (and now ass) compared to thousands of men ogling Sandy’s… everything?

He pulled on his last clean pair of underwear and his most comfortable jeans. He’d learned fast enough that old and comfy was the way to go with this job. Not that he really owned any tight designer clothes, he kinda needed money for that, but spending most of his day on the floor, crouching or crawling, gave him, or rather his balls, a whole new perspective on what counted as comfy. He reached into the drawer for a clean t-shirt, seeing as the one he’d worn yesterday was now covered in fingerpaint and ketchup, but came up empty handed. He groaned. Better put laundry on the top of his to-do list.

“Chad, can you lend me a t-shirt?” he shouted while sifting through his pile of dirty whites and coming up with a pair of socks. They could stand to be worn another day, they didn’t smell that bad.

“I can,” came the smug answer from the doorway. “Question is: Do I want to? Magazine-stealing pervert.”

Jared gritted his teeth but managed to plaster an apologetic smile on before turning around. “Look, I’m sorry. It just threw me, is all. And you were being a sleaze, drooling over her like that, right in front of me.”

Chad pouted but then he shook his head and disappeared into his own room, returning a moment later with a puke green t-shirt in his hand.

Jared groaned. “Aw, c’mon. Not that one!”

“It’s the only clean one I’ve got,” Chad said smugly and threw it at his head. “Wear it or bare it, dude.”

“Funny.” Jared glared at the offensive article of clothing before pulling it on with a scowl. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Chad replied and winked. “Have fun at work, hon.”

Jared stared at himself in the mirror and then sighed, reaching for a hoodie. Not like anyone would see it anyway.

 

 

The daycare center was unusually quiet when he got there, seeing as none of the kids had arrived yet. Sophia was already there though, making coffee in the small room they had named ‘The Refuge’ which had one old armchair, a tiny table, an even tinier fridge, a coffee machine and just enough room that Jared could reach between the walls with his arms stretched out. She gave him a smile as he yawned his “Mornin’,” and then proceeded to pour him coffee.

“Thanks,” he said gratefully and took the mug from her hand. He fumbled slightly and coffee sloshed over the rim and over the front of his hoodie.

“Shit! Shitshitshit!”

She grabbed the mug from him as he frantically wiped at his sweater. “Take it off, quick. Before it soaks through and burns you.”

He hurriedly complied, completely forgetting the t-shirt he was wearing underneath.

“What the hell?!”

He looked up to find her staring at him in shock. “What?” Then looked down and froze. His front read: “I support single moms.” It had a picture of a stripper.

“No!” He looked up, wide-eyed. “Nonono! It’s not mine! I had to borrow from my roommate.”

She glared at him, obviously not believing him. “You can’t wear that here! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I had nothing else! _He_ had nothing else! I’m sorry!”

“You’re gonna be a whole lot of sorry if you don’t take that t-shirt off right now!”

He took a step back from her venomous glare and bumped into the wall. Ow. “Well, what the hell am I supposed to wear?”

She shook her head angrily and then fetched her bag from the hook behind the door. “I always have an extra in case someone throws up on me or something.” She pulled out a t-shirt and threw it at him. “Here. Put this on.”

He looked down at it in horror. It was bright pink. With a picture of a unicorn running under a rainbow. And sparkling letters that read: STARLET.

“You’re kidding.” He met her eyes. “You’re not kidding.”

She shook her head, an evil smirk on her face. “Wear it or bare it, babe.”

He stared at her. “You’re not related to anyone named Chad, are you?”

She frowned. “No. Why?”

“No reason.” He looked back down at the t-shirt in his hand and then sighed before pulling off his own. It made his slicked back hair fall forward and when he impatiently swept it from his eyes, he caught her staring at him with a look he recognized too well.

“Done ogling?” he asked angrily and she had the decency to blush. Not that he usually minded people looking at him but it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet and so far it had been just one naked disaster after another.

“Sorry.” She gave him a small smile. “Not every day a hot guy strips in front of me, you know.”

This time it was his turn to blush. “Shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She checked the clock and sighed. “The first ones will be here shortly. Hurry up. I got to go make breakfast.”

He rolled his eyes and pulled on the t-shirt. Snug was putting it mildly. More like it was painted on him. And short enough to show off his belly button. “Oh man. I look ridiculous! I can’t wear this!”

“Stop complaining. You look cute.”

She grinned and then turned on her heels, heading for the tiny kitchen facility. Jared wanted to beg her to please, _please_ help him find something else to wear but just then he heard the front door slam shut. Damn. He peeked out into the hall and was met with the cutest sight ever.

Little Marie was struggling to pull off her boots without pulling her thumb out of her mouth. It wasn’t going too well and Jared couldn’t help smiling as she frowned in annoyance. She was quickly becoming his favorite, mostly because she reminded him so much of his little sister when she was this age, way too many years ago. He was gunning for her approval even more than from the others and it was starting to depress him how badly it was going. He wasn’t used to people not liking him. And to be feared like that, even by a two year old, was not something he could let go.

He glanced down at his t-shirt. Marie did have a thing for pretty horses… It was worth a shot.

“Hey,” he said and walked cautiously out of The Refuge and toward her.

She looked up, her eyes wide, and then she was screaming at the top of her lungs, “Daaaadaaaa!”

“Whoa!” He reached for her, sighing when she skittered away. “Hey, it’s okay. Sweetie, don’t be scared.”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Jared jerked away from the child currently trying to crawl under the wooden bench along the wall and looked up, meeting a pair of very angry green eyes glaring at him.

The man grabbed Jared’s arm, yanking him up to his feet and pushing him away. “Who are you? Get the hell away from my daughter!” he growled in a deep menacing voice that would under other circumstances have made Jared shiver. And it kinda did, although more with fear than anything else.

“What? No!” he sputtered, raising his hands and taking another step back. “I work here! I’m… I’m Jared. I _work_ here! Seriously.”

The man eyed him suspiciously but at least he didn’t look like he was about to punch Jared in the face anymore. “Then why is she so afraid of you?” he asked, indicating Marie who was peeking at them from under the bench, eyes big and wide, and looking like she was about to start crying any minute.

Jared blinked. “Uh… Because I’m big and scary and they all seem to think I’m a monster?” He ran his fingers through his hair, which made the t-shirt scoot up his stomach. Damn. He tugged it down desperately. “I’m not. I swear.”

“Never seen you before,” the man said curtly and bent down to fetch little Marie from under the bench. “Come here, baby,” he cooed, voice suddenly warm and soothing. “It’s alright.”

“I just started a few days ago,” Jared explained as the man hoisted Marie up in his arms and started stroking her hair, trying to calm her down. “I’m… Look, I’m sorry. It’s not like I scare them on purpose. I’m just… big,” he finished lamely. He tilted his head, puppy eyes in full mode. “Marie, it’s Jared. Remember Jared?”

“No,” she said stubbornly and hid her face in her father’s neck. “Dada.”

Her ‘dada’ gave Jared a pointed look.

Jared took a deep breath. “Ok. Ok. Sophia?” he said as loud as he dared. “Need some help here.”

She came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a dishtowel. “What’s the matter? Oh, hi.” She smiled at the man whose scowl diminished somewhat. “Something wrong?”

“This man works here?” Marie’s dad asked, jerking his head toward Jared.

Sophia raised her eyebrows at Jared and then shrugged. “He’s trying. So far he spends most of his time crouching on the floor.” At Jared’s glare she grinned. “Well, you do.”

He opened his mouth to protest but then sighed in defeat. “Yeah, I do.” He turned to the man and put out his hand. “Jared Padalecki. Nice to meet you.”

The man scowled at him a moment longer but then he relaxed and shifted the child in his arms before accepting Jared’s outstretched hand. “Jensen Ackles. Marie’s dad.”

They shook hands. Jensen’s grip was firm, his fingers slender and strong, and Jared swallowed. Even if he towered over the man by a good four inches, Jensen Ackles, with his piercing green eyes and clenched jaw, wasn’t someone he’d like to meet in a dark alley. Sure, he was handsome enough, in a serial killer kinda way, but how on earth he had fathered such a sweet beautiful child as Marie was a mystery. His wife must look like an angel, Jared concluded.

As if reading Jared’s thoughts Jensen let go of his hand and stepped back, looking him over with a scowl as he clutched Marie tighter, her face buried in his neck. His gaze fastened on Jared’s chest, eyes widening slightly and then suddenly his face broke into the most wicked grin, instantly throwing all of Jared’s earlier thoughts out the window. Oh, Jensen Ackles was deadly alright, no doubt about that. Jared was feeling quite faint already.

“Like unicorns, do you?”

Jared could feel himself turn beet red and he tugged at the t-shirt, trying to make it reach his jeans. “There was an accident. A coffee accident. I…”

“No, no. No need to explain. I’m sure they’re fascinating creatures,” Ackles said with a smirk that made Jared’s stomach flop, then nudged his daughter. “Hey, sweetie. Look, a unicorn! Your favorite!”

She turned her head slightly, one eye glancing at Jared. Then she suddenly straightened up and smiled, one chubby finger pointing at Jared’s t-shirt. “Ucon,” she said happily. “Ucon.”

Jared smiled back. Hah, not such a stupid plan after all. He was so gonna win her over. “Yes. Unicorn. Hey, we could read that book. The one you like so much.”

“ _Claire and the Unicorn_ ,” Mr. Ackles said and when Jared looked up at him he was gazing at his daughter with such adoration Jared felt his heart melt. “Man, she loves that one.”

Jared found himself smiling stupidly, wondering how the scary serial killer had managed with one smile to transform into the cutest thing ever. And he didn’t need Chad there to tell him how horribly gay that thought was. No crushing on the parents, he reminded himself. Especially not the straight, married ones.

“Yeah. Every time Sophia reads it to the kids, Marie crawls into her lap. She doesn’t want to miss a thing.” He tugged his t-shirt down again. “Look, Mr. Ackles…”

“Jensen, please. Mr. Ackles is way too formal for a kindergarten. Plus it makes me sound old. And, well, like my dad.” Jensen flashed him another smile and Jared’s knees threatened to give in. Damn.

“Ok,” he said, smiling back. “Jensen. And I’m Jared.” His heart skipped as Jensen nodded, silently mouthing his name as if he was trying it out. “Look, I know some of the kids… ok, most of the kids, are scared of me but… I’m sure they’ll come around. Well, Sophia seems to think so. They’re just not used to having someone like me around.”

“A lover of unicorns?” Jensen asked somberly but Jared could see he was trying hard not to laugh.

Damn, this blushing thing was getting old. He kept his smile though, hoping Jensen hadn’t noticed. “No, I mean because I’m a stranger. And tall. And, you know, a guy.” God, he sounded moronic.

Jensen raised one eyebrow. “Last time I checked I was male. And I might not be ten feet tall like you but I’m not exactly a midget. The kids aren’t scared of me.”

“Well, no. But you’re also Marie’s daddy.”

Jensen looked down at the girl still clinging to him. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He smiled softly. “Marie, honey? You want Jared to read to you about Claire and the unicorn?”

She looked over at Jared, thumb stuck in her mouth, and nodded. “Ucon,” she said and smiled.

“Ok then. Say goodbye to daddy now.”

He tightened his hold on her as she sloppily kissed him on the mouth, closing his eyes for a second before silently handing her over to Jared. Jared smiled reassuringly at him as she wrapped her chubby arms around his neck, and said, “Don’t worry, you’ll get her back soon enough.”

Jensen’s lips tightened and the cold look was back on his face. “Her mother will pick her up,” he said curtly. Then he leaned up to kiss Marie on the cheek before turning on his heel and walking out. Jared stood staring at the closed door, breath caught in his throat, the smell of coffee and sandalwood still lingering in the air, the soft brush of Jensen’s hair still tickling his cheek.

Marie followed his gaze, her mouth turning downwards. “Dada,” she said sadly and Jared hugged her tighter.

“Hey, it’s okay. Let’s find that book, shall we?” He turned around to find Sophia standing in the doorway to the kitchen, watching him with a smile. “What?”

“I told you they would come around.”

“One of them. And I’m not sure how long it will last.”

She shook her head. “Nah, once you’ve got ‘em you’ve got ‘em for life. Or at least until they start school.” She tilted her head and studied him thoughtfully. “So, you’ve met Marie’s dad.”

Jared found himself blushing. Damn, what was it with him lately? “Yeah. Seems nice enough.”

“Uhuh.” She raised one eyebrow. “That why you’re blushing?”

Crap. “I’m not blushing,” he said defensively, face turning an even deeper red.

“Hey, it’s okay. We all have a crush on him. He’s a…” She hesitated, eyeing Marie. “… ‘nice’ guy.” She fanned herself and grinned wickedly. “Wouldn’t mind him being my ‘daddy’, if you know what I mean.”

“ _My_ dada,” Marie piped up, glaring at her.

Now it was Sophia’s turn to blush. “Yeah, sweetie. Of course he is. When he’s allowed,” she added, lips thinning.

Jared was just about to ask her what she meant when the door opened and three kids came bustling in, followed by their somewhat sleepy-looking parents. Jared gave them a reassuring smile as they eyed him warily and carried Marie away to Rainbowland, leaving it to Sophia to handle the meet and greet. He had a unicorn story to read and a little girl’s heart to win over.

By the time breakfast was ready he had most of the kids sitting in a circle around him, Marie planted firmly on his lap, as he read one story after another. They all stared at him, eyes wide and mouth open as they hung on to every word. From unicorns he’d moved on to greedy caterpillars and then lost puppies, acting out all the voices and making faces that had the kids shrieking with laughter. From the toy box in the corner even Michael was peeking over the rim, listening intently. Who’d have thought wearing a pink glittery unicorn t-shirt would make such a difference? Clearly he had some shopping to do.

They ate porridge and then it was playground time. As Jared leaned against the wall, wearing the now dry but still stained hoodie, and watched the kids bang each other over the head with shovels and eat mouthfuls of sand, he couldn’t help smiling. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad job after all.

“Having a good day, finally?”

Sophia bumped her shoulder into his arm, smiling brightly, and he smiled back.

“Yeah. Finally.”

“Told you,” she said smugly.

“Yeah, yeah.” He watched Isaac try to plant a kiss on Marie’s cheek and then get a face full of sand for his trouble. He hesitated but his curiosity soon won over. “So… What did you mean, ‘when he’s allowed’? About Marie’s dad, I mean.”

She followed his gaze and made a face, nose scrunching up adorably. “Marie’s mom. She’s kind of a bitch.”

Jared blinked. “Are you allowed to say that?”

“Are you gonna run and tattle on me to Sam?” she bit back.

“No. I just… Why is she a bitch?”

She shrugged. “She just is. Been trying to get the court to ban Jensen from seeing Marie. Even accused him of molesting her.” She nodded at Jared’s shocked look. “I know. That man loves Marie more than anything. He’d never do anything to hurt her. The CPS didn’t find any evidence whatsoever and she finally had to withdraw her accusations, claiming she must have read it wrong. Yeah, right. By then it had been almost a year and Marie’d forgotten her own dad, being so young. It was heartbreaking watching him trying to win her love back. Today is the closest I’ve seen them.”

He knitted his eyebrows in thought. “Wait… A year? Marie’s barely two! Her mother accused Jensen of molesting his one year old daughter?”

“Yep.”

The grim look on Jensen’s face suddenly made sense. “Holy shit. Who the hell does that? And why?”

She shrugged. “If you ask me I’d say she felt humiliated when he left her and so decided to have her revenge.”

Jared frowned. “He was the one who left? Even if they had such a young daughter?” Married to a bitch or not, that did seem like a sucky thing to do.

“Well, he couldn’t very well stay married to her after she outed him and all,” Sophia snorted. “Talk about awkward.”

Jared blinked. What? “He’s gay?” he asked cautiously.

Sophia glanced up at him. “Well, yeah. Seriously, you didn’t realize?” She shook her head. “Aren’t you guys supposed to have a feeling for this kind of thing?”

He froze. “What? What do you mean, ‘you guys’?”

She tilted her head and looked at him, raising one eyebrow. “You really gonna make me say it?”

Jared stared back at her, the knot in his stomach tightening. “You knew?”

“Honey, it’s pretty obvious,” she said gently. “You haven’t looked at my boobs even once since you started working here. And no straight man could resist the power of these babes.” She pushed forward her pretty impressive rack.

He didn’t know what to say. Finally he stammered, “You, you don’t mind? That, that I’m… I mean… I thought…” He felt slightly faint.

“Mind? Why would I mind?” She looked deeply insulted and he really didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t know. Because I’m working with kids and… I don’t know,” he repeated lamely, voice trailing off as her face darkened. “I know what people say. I just didn’t want…” He swallowed. “I really needed this job, ok? I was afraid if I told you guys, you wouldn’t want me.”

She glared at him and even if he knew she wasn’t really mad at him but more at what had made him do it, he still felt ashamed. “I’m sorry. And for the record, I _am_ out. Just… not here.” He paused. “Well, I guess now I am.”

Her anger dissolved and she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “Sweetie, no one here is gonna give you any crap about that. Alli has a gay brother, Ben’s got two moms. And Marie… Well, we all would much rather Jensen got custody over his daughter than her bitch of a mother. No one cares, Jared. I promise.”

He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He hadn’t really realized how crippling it had been, going back into the closet, after finally getting out of it. “Ok,” he said. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She settled against the wall again, and together they watched the kids play. “So,” she said after a while. “That really was your roommates t-shirt.”

Jared groaned. “If you ever met Chad you wouldn’t even have to ask that question.”

She chuckled. “Lets hope I never do. Sorry if I overreacted. It’s kind of a sore spot for me.”

“Single moms?”

She hesitated, then shrugged. “Stripping to pay for food for your kid. My mom used to do that. And… more.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He processed that for a moment and then said, “She must have loved you very much.”

She looked up at him, startled. “Yeah. Yeah, she did.” She bit her lip. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, surprised.

“For not being an asshole.”

“Oh that. Well, you’re welcome,” he said as his eyes drifted back to Marie who was now pouring a whole bucket of sand over Isaac’s head. Jared’s lips twitched into a grin. Seemed she had inherited more than her father’s pretty green eyes, she had a temper to match as well.

It was a nice day. Jared closed his eyes against the sun for a moment before opening them again and looking around, for the first time feeling relaxed enough to see it as something more than just a place of work.

The old house had been turned into a daycare center about ten years ago. That was probably what made it feel less like a storage place for kids and more like a home. The rooms were small with low ceilings and he’d bumped his head into the doorframes at more than one time. It had creaky stairs and bad plumbing but you could almost feel the spirits of its old inhabitants still lingering and the kids seemed to feel secure and happy there.

The daycare center was divided into two departments, Rainbowland which held the youngest kids, age one to three, and Sunshineland which was for kids from four to six.

“Dude, ours is far better. They don’t get our naptimes down in the Sunshine state,” Alli had said with a grin when Jared asked her if it was just as exhausting working with the older kids. “Also those kids, they talk way too much. About stuff you really don’t want to have to talk about.”

“Like Barbies?” Jared had asked with horror.

“More like, ‘Where do babies come from?’ and whether God is a man or a woman,” Alli had said and laughed at his even more horrified expression. “I’m telling you, the longer they stay mute, the better. Kids, man. They’re far too smart for their own good.”

Jared wasn’t too sure of that. He’d been there a whole week before they figured out he wasn’t gonna eat them. How was that for smart?

The sun and heat was making him sleepy and he closed his eyes again. Alli was right about one thing, naptimes were awesome. Who knew it would be so good to lie down with a bunch of kids and sleep for an hour or two? Not that they were really supposed to sleep, rather just help the kids settle down and then spend the time thinking about educational upbringing or whatever until it was time to wake them up again. Yeah, that didn’t work. Once you were lying down, surrounded by tiny warm bodies and the sounds of sniffling and soft snoring it was pretty much impossible to stay awake.

They had small mattresses to lie on that were spread on the floor in one of the rooms and then each kid had their own pillow and blanket and a soft toy to snuggle up with. Jared needed two mattresses and still his feet were on the floor knees down and the two blankets he got only covered about two thirds of his body. Not that it mattered. As soon as his head hit the weak excuse for a pillow he was out like a light, sleeping so soundly that Alli and Sophie had to shake him awake when it was time to get up. Of course they usually had kids pressed up against them on all side, snuggling up like kittens, while Jared got his space all to himself. In fact he was surprised the kids had dared to fall asleep with him in the room, seeing as they all seemed to think he was a monster.

Jared sighed. Getting little Marie to accept him had been a huge step but most of them were still wary of him and even if they were just little kids he couldn’t help feeling a bit resentful. Not his fault he was so damn tall. And a guy. Really, weren’t they a bit too young to be discriminating like that?

He was thrown out of his musings when something banged hard into his shin and he let out a little yelp of pain as his knees buckled from the impact. “Jesus fu-”

Sophia elbowed him and he managed to bite his tongue at the last moment. David, a four year old from Sunshineland, was staring up at him from his tricycle, openmouthed.

“Say sorry, David,” Sophia chastened him and he looked over at her, then mumbled something that didn’t sound anything like sorry, turned the bike and cycled away.

“You okay?” she asked Jared as he sank to the ground, rubbing his shin, and he nodded even if his leg was throbbing painfully. And the kids thought _he_ was evil? Monsters, that’s what they were, the lot of them. Little stinky evil mons-

“Jad, ow,” said a small voice and he looked up just in time to get a wet sandy kiss on his mouth from a concerned looking Marie. “Ow, ow,” she repeated and patted his leg, sending renewed stabs of pain up his spine.

“I’m okay, sweetie,” he managed to grit out between clenched teeth. “You just go play now.”

She pouted but then got a determined look on her face and before he could stop her she had grabbed her shovel and ran to where David was struggling to get his tricycle over a heap of sand, and proceeded to bang him over the head, making him tumble off and hit the ground with a distinct thud, followed by a high pitched scream.

The peace was gone after that.

David, who was old enough to know how to play the sympathy card to the max, screamed and clutched his head, tears streaming down his face. The shovel had left a tiny red mark and he had sand on his face from tumbling off the bike but otherwise he seemed perfectly fine. From the agonized screams though one would think he’d gotten his leg bitten off by a lion. One of the girls from the Sunshineland, Rachel Jared thought her name was, was trying to calm him down. She rolled her eyes when he only screamed louder, which told Jared this probably wasn’t the first time little David took a drama fit.

Marie was still livid, swinging her shovel at David from where Jared held her back, yelling, “Ba, _ba_ Daid! Donn hut Jad!”

Jared wasn’t sure whether to be scared of her or kiss her.

“Marie, stop it,” he said firmly, wrestling the shovel from her hand. “Calm down.”

She shook her head, but then she suddenly slumped in his arms and started crying pitifully. Jared pulled her tighter, giving Sophia an exasperated look. He knew he was supposed to tell Marie off for attacking the boy but she was just so tiny and cute and… just look at those big green eyes, flooding with tears! How was he supposed to resist that?

“Jared…” Sophia warned but he ignored her and pulled the little girl tighter.

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered soothingly as he rocked her in his arms. “Don’t cry. It’s alright.”

Sophia rolled her eyes but she was biting her lips, obviously trying to keep from smiling.

Marie finally calmed down and before long she was back playing in the sandbox, seeming to have completely forgotten the whole thing.

Jared leaned against the wall and watched her, smiling when the tower she was trying to build collapsed and she proceeded to smash it further with the shovel, yelling at it in pretty much the same way she’d been yelling at David earlier. Yep, she sure had her daddy’s temper.

Sophia snorted beside him and he look over at her. “What?”

“You’re such a pushover, Padalecki.”

Jared blushed. His little nieces and nephews always had him wrapped around their fingers too. Not his fault he hated seeing people crying. Especially tiny little people who had huge wet eyes and wobbly lips. Deadly weapons, that’s what those kids were. And they knew it, the little bastards.

“Am not,” he grumbled but she just laughed at him.

 

As naptime came around all the kids were rubbing their eyes, Jared included. He stretched out on his side at his usual place along the far wall, the thin mattresses doing little to keep the hard wooden floor from bruising his hip, the two blankets only covering him from his shins to his mid-chest. He yawned as he listened to Sophia and Alli quietly sing some lullaby (his own efforts had been shot down the first day, seeing as they did little to calm the kids down and were more likely to give them nightmares) and shifted the thin pillow until it was wedged between his head and his bent elbow. Not the most comfortable sleeping arrangement he’d ever had but Jared was used to falling asleep under weird circumstances, like in class or waiting at the bus stop, or, in one case, on his bike. That one had ended with a sprained wrist, a cut on his forehead, and a very confused looking nurse as he tried to explain how he’d managed to ride his bike down a flight of stairs and into a fountain.

He was just about to slip into deep sleep when something warm nudged against his stomach and when he opened his eyes he saw a sleepy Marie curling up beside him, her blanket clutched in her tiny fists. Something in his chest clenched and he had to fight not to put his arms around her and pull her even tighter. He glanced up at the girls and saw Alli was asleep but Sophia was smiling softly and when she caught his eye she grinned and gave him a thumb up. He closed his eyes, smiling, and was just about to drift to sleep when he felt tiny fingers fumble at his cheek and then grab hold of his ear. He cracked one eye open. Marie had a thumb in her mouth, sucking on it in her sleep while her other hand held on to his ear, rubbing the earlobe and tugging on it every now and then. She looked so cute he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The movement was weirdly soothing and before long his eyes drifted close again and he was lost to the world.

 

The rest of the day went by fast but despite that he was exhausted when the parents started showing up, one by one, to pick up their kids. He had to admit he was curious to see what Marie’s mom, Jensen’s apparently bitch ex-wife, looked like but somehow between tidying up and changing Isaac’s very yucky diaper (they were all convinced his parents had trained him to do all his business at the daycare, because seriously, that kid had dubious accurate timing when it came to these things) he managed to miss her. Well, he’d have plenty of opportunity later.

Chad was out when Jared stumbled through the door close to six. He groaned and eyed his bed longingly but his shift at the restaurant started in an hour and he had to shower and change his clothes before that. Thankfully Chad had for once kept his word and done laundry, probably more because he was afraid Jared would raid his drawers for clothes and find the porn hidden there than out of consideration. As if Jared didn’t already know about the stash. And as if he’d ever touch anything Chad had had his horny and no doubt sticky fingers on. Yuck.

Chad rushed through the door five minutes before they had to head out, muttering about some chick who’d apparently ripped him a new one when he’d accidentally bumped into her.

“Accidentally?” Jared asked dubious. “Don’t tell me. She had nice boobs and you ‘fell’ on them.”

Chad tried to look affronted but the leer kinda gave him away.

“Oh man, how am I ever friends with you?” Jared groaned. “Dude, you’re lucky she didn’t have you arrested for sexual harassment.”

“It was an accident!” Chad said indignantly. “I said I was sorry and she clocked me with her bag. Which was fucking heavy, I’ll let you know. I should have her arrested for assaulting me with a deadly weapon.”

For a moment Jared flashed back to little Marie hitting David with her shovel and couldn’t help snorting. “Whatever. Hurry up, we’re gonna be late. Again.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Chad traded his ratty t-shirt for the white shirts they were required to wear and hurriedly buttoned it up. “Fuck, I hate Fridays.”

“At least you don’t have to work tomorrow.” Jared yawned and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m seriously beat.”

“You’re gonna kill yourself with all that work, you know. One day I’m gonna find you dead in the living room, stinking up the place. Know how hard it is to get the stink of death out of the carpet?”

“Thanks for the concern,” Jared huffed. “I’ll try and drop dead in the street instead.”

“You better.”


	2. Chapter 2

“So there I was, wearing my finest Armani and the guy throws up on me! Can you imagine? He was lucky I didn’t sue his ass.”

Jensen stared at the man sitting opposite him. “Please tell me he didn’t die.”

“What? No.” Tom waved it off. “They just pumped his stomach. I mean, it was just some shrimp.”

“Which he’d already told you he was allergic to and you served him anyway,” Jensen pointed out, incredulous.

“Well, it’s not like I could make paella de marisco without it,” Tom said, completely oblivious. “I mean, the shrimp makes the whole dish.”

“And it never occurred to you to maybe make something else?” Jensen asked coldly. “Like, I don’t know, something your date wouldn’t _die_ from?”

“I like shrimp,” Tom said, frowning. “Besides, I chopped them up really fine and added a buttload of garlic. He shouldn’t even have been able to taste them.”

Jensen sat there speechless, watching the man pick at his food with a look of disdain on his face. “Damn, I never should have ordered the veal. It will go straight to my hips.”

“I need to use the bathroom,” Jensen said quickly and stood up before he did something totally justifiable in the eyes of everyone but the law and punched the guy’s face in. Jesus! What was it with him and bad dates?

He stayed in the bathroom as long as he could, pondering what to do. Finally he texted Danneel ‘ _SOS. Call me in 5 min. PLEASE!!_ ’ and went back to the table. Tom had finished his food (or sent it back, Jensen didn’t know and he certainly didn’t care) and was looking at the menu again. When Jensen slid into his seat Tom looked up and smiled.

“You want dessert? Or…” He leaned forward, sly look in his eyes. “Do you want to go back to my place and have dessert there? And by dessert, I mean my dick.”

Before Jensen could think of an appropriate answer (He really wasn’t sure there was one, except maybe, “Please fuck off and die!”) his phone rang. He gave Tom a smile and held up one finger, asking him to hold that thought.

“Hello?”

“ _This better be important_ ,” Danneel hissed in his ear. “ _I’m in the middle of something!_ ”

“What? _Now?_ ” Jensen said, faking annoyance.

“ _I have Gen between my thighs, right now! You want me to tell you what she’s doing?_ ” Danneel threatened. “ _Because I will. In details._ ”

Jensen couldn’t help the small shudder. “Joanna, we said next weekend. Not tonight. I’m on a date.” He gave Tom an exasperated look and mouthed, “Ex-wife.”

Tom grimaced.

“ _She’s got two fingers up my pussy. And she’s doing things with her tongue that-_ “

“Fine! But you can’t keep doing this. We have a schedule. What? All week and next weekend, too? But… Fine! Jeez. I’ll pick her up in twenty minutes.”

“ _She’s wearing a strap-on!_ ” Danneel yelled in his ear as he hung up.

Great. Now that was gonna give him nightmares for a very long time to come.

Jensen turned to Tom with an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry. Something came up at my ex-wife’s work and I have to go pick up my daughter. I’m sure you understand.”

“Don’t you have a babysitter?” Tom asked irritated. “I mean, I assumed–“

“I’m really sorry,” Jensen lied. “I’ll be busy all week and next weekend, too. But after that… Although Joanna said something about a stomach flu that’s been going around at the daycare…”

“That’s all right,” Tom said quickly. “We’ll do it later. Maybe next time we should just start with the dessert?” He smirked and Jensen forced on a stiff smile.

“Maybe.” He threw a few bills on the table, enough to cover the food he hadn’t yet eaten and half the bottle of wine. “I’ll call you.” And he hurried out before Tom could remind him that he didn’t actually have his number.

Once outside he texted Danneel a quick, ‘ _Thank you for that nightmare!_ ’ and got an evil ‘ _Muhahahaha_ ’ in return.

His stomach grumbled in protest as he walked past the many restaurants on Main Street. Tom had insisted on ordering for him, seeing as apparently he was a regular at the restaurant, a posh place that Jensen normally wouldn’t have bothered even looking at. He’d rattled of some weird sounding French name and twenty very long and boring minutes later the waiter had presented Jensen with some kind of strange pâté, about the size of Jensen’s pinky, and some salad that had at least two more colors than Jensen considered normal. It hadn’t tasted _bad_ exactly, just weird. And honestly, for those kind of prices, he expected steak! That… whatever it was, hardly even wetted his appetite. Truth was, he was starving.

He considered just going home but if he remembered correctly his fridge contained very little food, or at least edible food. More like fungus experiments. He hardly ever bought groceries unless Marie was staying over. It just felt too sad to make dinner for one person. Maybe he should just order pizza. And eat it alone.

Jensen sighed. After he moved out from Joanna and Marie he’d stayed at Chris’s place. Chris had put up with him moping around for six months before he threw him out and told him to get his shit together and get laid already. So Jensen found an apartment, sobered up and even got his daughter back, at least as far as the joint custody allowed him. He was still working on the whole ‘get laid’ part. Mostly he spent his nights watching bad TV and missing Marie.

Another growl thankfully distracted him from that line of thought. He was just passing a small Italian restaurant and decided to ignore how pathetic it was to be eating alone. He checked the menu that hung outside for prices – reasonable, and the steak came with homemade fries! Seemed his Friday night was looking up.

He stood awkward in the waiting area for a moment before a blond guy with squinty eyes and the start of a rather ugly goatee came up to him and asked if he had a reservation.

“Uhm, no. I just thought I’d see if–”

“How many will you be?” the guy cut him off, clearly not interested in Jensen’s reasons.

Jensen clenched his jaw. “Just me,” he said and forced a smile.

The guy gave him a sympathetic look that had Jensen gritting his teeth. “Oh dude, that’s just sad.”

Jensen stared at him. “Excuse me?”

“Friday night, guy like you, all alone? That’s just sad, man.” The guy sighed dramatically. “Let me see what I can do,” he said and disappeared into the main area.

For a moment Jensen contemplated turning around and walking out but the place was warm and looked really cozy and all the customers seemed happy with their food. And he really wanted that steak.

“Come with me,” the blond guy said when he came back just moments later. “I have the perfect table for you.”

He led Jensen through the restaurant and to a small table in the corner, just by the kitchen entrance. Jensen couldn’t really see what was so perfect about it except maybe that it was situated in a place that made sure no one else would want it. He gave the guy a suspicious look but the waiter only grinned and pulled out the chair.

“Trust me,” he said. “Perfect.”

Jensen bit down his irritation and sat down. “I would like…” he started, ignoring the menu.

“Fruit salad and one of those tall drinks with an umbrella?” the waiter suggested smoothly.

Jensen glared at him. What the fuck? “Steak, medium rare. Fries. And a beer, thank you,” he spitted out.

If anything the guy looked even smugger. “Some delicious meat coming up right away, sir. And a large beer. You want it big, right? Sir?”

Something in the way he said it made Jensen’s cheek flush. “Yeah. That would be… good,” he gritted out.

The waiter smirked and swept the menu off the table before strutting off, looking as smug as a cock in a henhouse. Jensen stared after him, confused. Why did he feel like he’d just been ordering a male prostitute instead of a meal?

He looked around, noticing that everyone else seemed to be tended to by petite and much more polite waitresses and wondered what it was that made him attract all the weirdoes. He could just hear Chris joking, “It’s your punishment for wanting dick now,” and inwardly groaned. Maybe it was. Maybe he just had really bad karma.

“Your beer, sir– Ackles!” a voice said beside him, making him look up. And up and up. And… oh man. Maybe God didn’t hate him so much after all. There was something familiar about the tall, very fine looking waiter staring down at him with a shocked look in his eyes. “I mean, Jensen. I mean… hi.”

Now he remembered. The guy at Marie’s daycare this morning. Ja-something. Jason? No. Jasper?

“Sir Ackles?” Jensen said with a small smile. “I think I’d remember if I’d been knighted.”

The guy (Jarrod? Jared! That was it!) blushed adorably and ducked his head. “I kinda tripped there,” he said. “Over my tongue. I do that.”

“Noted.” Jensen looked him up and down. As cute (and obscenely tight) as the unicorn t-shirt had been this morning the black slacks and pristine white shirt did wonders for Jared’s already rather impressive body. “So now you’re gonna tell me you serve unicorn meat?”

Jared looked dumbfounded for a moment but then he chuckled, his face going a little redder. “Uhm, no. Don’t think that’s actually legal.”

“Or, you know, real,” Jensen pointed out.

Jared’s eyes widened. “What? Unicorns aren’t real?” he gasped. “Oh my God!”

“I can see now why you work at a daycare center,” Jensen snorted. “Not sure what you’re doing here, though.” He raised his eyebrow at his beer, still sweating away on the tray.

“Oh, sorry.” Jared swiftly moved the glass over to Jensen’s table. “You kinda caught me off guard. Didn’t expect to see you. Or you know, anyone. Anyone I know, that is.” He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Most of my friends live on the other side of town.”

Even if Jared probably didn’t mean it to sound like Jensen was one of his friends, the accidental implication still made his heart jump just a little.

“Me too. This was a total coincidence,” he said then, for some odd reason he just couldn’t explain, added, “I kinda ran out of a bad date at Pierre’s.” He glanced up just in time to see a strange look flitter through Jared’s eyes but it was gone again before he could determine what it was.

“Ah,” Jared said. He gave Jensen a lopsided grin. “Never been there but I hear their food is… ” He paused.

“Weird?” Jensen suggested with a grimace. “Expensive? Portions guaranteed to keep an anorexic supermodel satisfied?”

Jared smiled. “Something like that.” He glanced back as there was a shout from the kitchen. “I’ll bring you your food in a minute. Until then, enjoy your beer.”

“Thanks.”

Jensen felt oddly disappointed as he watched Jared leave. He sipped the beer to make himself feel better. Hardly half a minute passed by before Jared came through the door again, carrying three dishes as expertly as any waiter Jensen had seen. He allowed his gaze to linger on Jared’s pretty spectacular backside as he elegantly weaved his way through the restaurant to one of the tables by the window. When he came back he gave Jensen a small smile and said, “Any minute now.”

Jensen nodded then leaned back, sipping his beer and secretly enjoying the sight of Jared as he brought out one dish after another. Or maybe not so secretly considering the blond waiter gave him a smug grin and said, “Didn’t I tell you? Absolutely perfect place for you,” as he passed with an older couple, showing them the way to a much nicer corner table.

Jensen blinked, cheeks turning a little pink. Was he really that obvious? Considering he’d been so deep in the closet of denial he’d knocked up his girlfriend _and_ married her, that seemed a bit embarrassing.

He was brought out of his musings when a big plate landed suddenly right in front of him. The steak was the size of his hand, the fries looked like they would melt in his mouth and the smell was enough to make his mouth water.

“Oh yeah,” he moaned, inhaling the delicious scent of real food. “God yeah, that’s the stuff.”

A choked off sound made him look up to find Jared gazing down at him, cheeks flushed, lips turned up in a smile. “Keep that up and the woman at the next table is gonna order what you’re having.”

Jensen went beet red. “I’m really hungry,” he mumbled embarrassed as he picked up his fork. “Like really, really. Starving.”

“I hope it lives up to your expectations,” Jared said with a laugh. He turned as if to leave but then seemed to change his mind and leaned over to whisper, “Just let me know if you want dessert. The chocolate mousse is positively orgasmic. You know, if the steak doesn’t quite get you there.”

Jensen’s jaw dropped along with his fork and knife. He didn’t even have the brainpower to shift his wide eyes up from Jared’s ass as he turned around, just stared at the stretch of black cotton over tantalizingly moving butt cheeks, steadily retreating.

Did that just happen? Did that really just happen? Or was he so desperate for sex (and steak) that he was hallucinating a gay pornographic version of _When Harry Met Sally_ , casting himself as Meg Ryan and Jared as… whoever played the waiter?

“You know, the meat is supposed to be eaten, not just drooled on,” an annoying voice drawled in his ear, jerking him back to reality. “We have excellent service but we still expect our guests to feed themselves.”

Jensen snapped his mouth shut and shot the blond waiter a glare before retrieving his utensils. Then had to fight not to start moaning again when he put the first piece of juicy steak into his mouth. Oh. My. God!

 

\-------

“Jared, breathe. Breathe.”

Jared doubled over, groaning, hands in his hair. “I told him the chocolate mousse would give him an orgasm!”

“Gay sex is seriously weird,” Chad said with a grimace.

“Chad, shut up. I just meant that it was good. Except I said it like… like…” He hid his face in his hands.

“Like you meant for him to eat it off your dick?” Chad suggested helpfully.

“Yes! No! Oh God.” He groaned again, horrified.

“Relax,” Beth said, patting his arm. “I tell customers that all the time and no one’s had me fired yet. They just order a lot of mousse.”

“He probably thinks I jerk off in it,” Jared said miserably. “Oh God, what if he has me fired from the daycare center for being a pervert with a mousse fetish?”

“You have a mousse fetish?” Chad asked, frowning.

“No! Well, sometimes I lick the spoon clean but… No!”

“Seriously, stop panicking,” Beth said as she grabbed the next plate, clearly enjoying the scene way too much. “If he really was offended he would have left by now. Instead he’s inhaling his meat and making very obscene noises while he’s at it. If anyone should be sued for lewdness it’s him, right there. I’ve almost dropped my tray twice!”

The image of Jensen inhaling a completely different kind of meat popped up in Jared’s head and he took another big gulp of water.

“Table six is up,” muttered Jeff irritably and slammed two plates up on the counter. Jared reluctantly took them and was about to push open the swing-doors with his hip when Jeff added, “You know, a guy who likes meat that much? Sounds like just your type.”

Jared fled the roar of laughter from his so-called friends, his face redder than he thought possible. Assholes the bunch of them. He swallowed his embarrassment and tried to look cool and professional as he walked by Jensen’s table, his eyes traitorously glancing over as he passed. Jensen was by now more than halfway through his meal and did in fact look like he could star in a food porn movie with the way his eyelids fluttered and he kept licking his lips between bites, catching drops of meat juice from the corners of his mouth with the tip of his tongue. He was completely immersed in his task, so much that he paid no attention to what was going on around him, including Jared. Despite his trepidation earlier Jared couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed.

He shouldn’t have worried though. The next time he entered the dining area Jensen looked up and froze with his lips parted, showing a pink tongue nudging at the inside of his lower front teeth in anticipation of the dripping meat making its way to his mouth. Jared slowed his pace, pretending to be weighed down by the three plates he was carrying, and offered Jensen a wide grin as he walked by. Jensen instantly dropped his gaze and stuffed the piece of meat quickly into his mouth, consequently almost choking on it. Alarmed Jared quickly dumped the plates on the nearest empty table and grabbed Jensen’s shoulder, slapping him on the back.

“You okay?” he asked worried when Jensen had regained his breath and composure enough to nod in answer.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said, voice slightly hoarse. He coughed and pointed at his throat. “Wrong way.”

“Haven’t you learned not to inhale when you swallow?” Jared laughed, relieved.

It wasn’t until Jensen started coughing again, more frantically than before, that Jared realized what he said.

“I meant when eating! Not…” Jared stopped because there really was no way to escape the situation with even a trace of dignity. “I’ll just leave you to your meal,” he mumbled and backed off, picking up the plates he’d discarded and delivering them to their right places. He was trying to pass Jensen on his way back to the kitchen as quickly as he could when Jensen reached out, grabbing his wrist.

“You know,” he said, looking up at Jared with a small smile. “I think maybe I’ll have that mousse after all.”

Jared stuttered. “Mousse. Sure. Yeah. I’ll… Of course.”

And he fled again, this time into the kitchen, his pants tightening in anticipation of what Jensen’s reaction would be to what one of LA’s gourmet writers had said carried “ a sinful taste of ecstasy in every spoon.”

\-------

“Stop that. What’s the rule? Hands under the table. You too, Michael.”

Jared filled plate after plastic plate with mashed potatoes, meatballs and gravy before handing them to Kristen that put them in front of each child, along with a plastic fork and a plastic glass of water. The kids were all fidgeting impatiently in their chairs, so eager to eat some had to sit on their hands to keep from grabbing the food before it was allowed. All, that is, except for Lexie, who was staring wide-eyed and confused at everything and everyone. It was her first day and she’d kept silent all morning, meekly doing exactly as she was told. Kristen told Jared not to worry, in a day or two the little girl would be running around screaming her head off like the rest of them.

“Everyone ready?” Kristen asked when the plates had all been filled and set. The kids nodded eagerly. “Okay, dig in.”

There was a loud ruckus as forks were grabbed and food was shoved into mouths and faces, what didn’t end up on their clothes or in their hair. Lexie blinked confused at her food before awkwardly bending over and trying to eat straight from the plate.

“Lexie,” Kristen said, fighting not to laugh. “It’s okay, you can pull your hands up now.”

Lexie seemed to consider this for a moment before deciding that it was probably easier that way so she picked up her fork and was soon happily eating along with the rest of them.

Jared shook his head in amusement and grabbed a plate of his own before sitting down next to Marie, who was trying to grab a hold of the fork despite her hands being encased in socks.

“You know socks usually go on your feet?” he reminded her one more time but Marie didn’t pay him any mind, a look of deep concentration on her face. “Sweetie, really, it would be easier if…” He gave up when she finally got a good grip and started shoveling food into her mouth, happy as a lark.

Sophia gave him a grin. “How long has it been now?”

“Two weeks!” He gave his stubborn little favorite a fond smile. “Apparently she sleeps with them as well.”

“Yeah? And you would know this how?” Kristen asked with a smirk.

To his horror Jared could feel himself blushing. “Her dad told me,” he said defensively. “We were just talking. What? I talk to parents.”

“Sure you do. Especially the pretty gay single ones.”

Jared glared at her but she just smiled sweetly, knowing he couldn’t really do or say anything with all the kids around. “I talk to the moms as well,” he argued lamely.

Well, most of them. He’d stayed clear of Marie’s mom, ever since their less than stellar first introduction a couple of weeks ago. She’d oddly enough been pretty much as he expected. Stunning looks, supermodel figure and a suspicious glare that had turn positively hateful when Marie didn’t want to go home but hung on to Jared’s leg, asking for her ‘dada’. Jared knew it was just a temporary preference, after all she’d been crying for her mama just a few hours earlier when she fell and hurt her knee, but Marie’s mom seemed to take it as a personal insult that her daughter would pick, not only her dad, but some guy working at the kindergarten, over her.

Things didn’t improve when he ran into her as he was leaving one day and she caught sight of his bag that had a very small rainbow pin on the side, hardly visible but apparently shone bright as a beacon, if her angry look was anything to go by. He found out the next day that she had started asking questions about him and then, when the girls had nothing but praise (not _all_ lies) for him, she demanded to see Sam who she spoke to for quite some time before storming out, looking like “a gay fairy just peed in her cappuccino”, according to Sophia. Sam didn’t mention anything to Jared so he assumed whatever arguments Marie’s mother had put forward they had been shot down without hesitation. He just hoped she didn’t pull her daughter from the kindergarten, he’d really come to like the little girl.

And her dad, a small voice added in his head, a voice that sounded smug and suggestive and suspiciously much like Sophia’s. He tried to ignore it. Yes, Jensen sometimes stalled and chatted a bit. And yes, he’d been to the restaurant twice in the last three weeks where they talked even more. (Once over mousse, which in hindsight had been a terrible (but oh so good) idea because Jensen eating any food was like porn in the making but eating mousse… Unf!) And yes, they got along famously because Jensen was cool and funny and they had a lot of stuff in common, both being Texas originated, having similar family backgrounds and liking the same kind of sports, food and music. And yes, the man was hot as a thousand suns. And yes, Jared would like to bone him, repeatedly. But that didn’t mean…

Jared stopped, mind going blank. He really shouldn’t start an argument he couldn’t win. Even if it was just with himself.

“He seems to like you,” Sophia said. She was smiling and not the usual smug grin she used whenever talking about Jensen, but a small encouraging one, and Jared could feel himself blushing even further. “At least he smiles more when you’re around.”

“Humph,” Jared murmured, dubious. When he was around it usually meant Marie was around as well and Jensen’s (gorgeous, gorgeous) smile probably had a lot more to do with that than whatever idiotic thing Jared was blabbering on about at the time.

“You should totally go for it,” Kristen agreed. “I mean, since I can’t have him it’s up to you to find out–“

She cut herself off, seeming to suddenly remember where and in what company they were. Not that the kids were actively listening, still too busy stuffing their faces, but they knew from experience there was always at least one who’d go home and tell their parents the most embarrassing thing accidentally done or said that day. Jared smirked, thinking he was off the hook, but Kristen just frowned for a moment and then smiled, way too brightly.

“I love sausages. Don’t you love sausages? Especially big ones.”

Jared froze. “Kristen,” he hissed but she wasn’t intimidated in the least, just turned to Sophia and asked her innocently, “Sausages, big or small?”

“Oh, definitely big,” Sophia agreed gravelly. “I mean, not too big, I want them to fit in my… bun. But yes, big ones. And thick.”

“Oh God,” Jared groaned, causing Marie to look at him with concern and then petting him with her gravy stained sock before continuing eating. “Girls, really…”

“There’s this guy,” Kristen continued conversationally, “I hear he has the best sausage but I don’t know if it’s big or small. Haven’t had a chance to check it out. Maybe you could do it for me, Jared?”

“Or maybe we could talk about something else?” Jared bit out, his face gone red as a tomato.

“Why? You’re not a vegetarian, are you?” Sophia asked in surprise. “Because I have this absolutely amazing recipe for stuffed butternut.”

“Oh really?” Kristen said interested. “Stuffed with what?”

“Ripe firm zucchini and creamy white–”

“Okay, okay!” Jared hissed. “Yes. I like big sausages. And I would love to find out how big this guy’s sausage is. But I can’t just go and, and… buy it, you know? Maybe he doesn’t want to sell it to me. Maybe, I don’t know, he doesn’t like my money. Or maybe he’s already sold it to someone else. Or–”

“Sossaj!” Michael yelled as he jumped up, pulled down his pants and did a little dance with his very own little sausage.

“Oh for god’s sake! Michael! Pull your pants up! We don’t eat naked!”

But it was too late, the other kids were laughing and giggling and some of them were following suit, pulling at their clothes and clearly wanting to join in the naked celebration of sausages.

Jared groaned and dropped his head on the table, which pretty much made him fold double considering the surface was only about twenty inches from the floor. Whatever happened he knew from now on he would never be able to even think about Jensen’s dick without the word ‘sausage’ popping into his head. Or eat a sausage without thinking about Jensen’s dick. Either way, he was bound to have some very awkward moments in the future.

\---------

“No.” Jensen paced the examination room, feeling like a very angry tiger caught in a very small cage. “That is not negotiable.” His heart thundered in his chest but his jaw was set, eyes blazing with fury. “Because we have joint custody which means I have a say where and how my daughter spends her day.”

He knew he should have said “our” daughter when her voice got even more menacing, almost spitting the words into his ear, but at the moment he was too pissed off to care.

“Why won’t you just admit what is really bothering you?” he finally snapped which launched another onslaught. He listened to her rant on the other end, the phone gripped so tight in his hand he was afraid he’d break it. “You didn’t have a problem with that when we picked out the place _together_ ,” he reminded her icily. “In fact, if I remember correctly, you applauded the “educational diversity” of their staff.”

She hardly had time to start again before he cut in, his voice rising despite his best efforts to stay calm, “Before what? Before you got the fucked up idea into your head that being gay meant lusting after _babies_? Yeah, no, I _will_ bring that up. I will bring it up whenever you try to poison my daughter’s mind against her own father. When you try to ruin my life with allegations so disgusting it makes me sick how you could even–”

The click as she hung up made him growl in frustration and he threw the phone on his desk, wishing he could hurdle it through the window.

“Fuck you! Fuck you, you fucking lying bitch. I wish I could…” He stopped and drew a deep breath, trying to calm down. No. He wasn’t going to sink down to her level.

There was a knock on his door and the receptionist’s head popped in, looking fearful enough that he knew some of the conversation must have carried outside. “Your four o’clock is here,” she said, smiling nervously. “Should I send her in?”

Jensen ran his fingers through his hair, then straightened his tie, trying on a smile. “Give me two minutes,” he said.

She nodded and backed out, closing the door behind her.

Jensen sighed, wondering how long it would take for this one to ask for a transfer. He wasn’t that bad, not really. Well, okay, so he was grumpy in the mornings until the caffeine level in his bloodstream had reached its desired level. And he was maybe not as friendly and easygoing as he used to be before everything happened but frankly, neither were they. His name might have been cleared but even now, four months later, he could feel eyes on him wherever he went, wondering, speculating if maybe, maybe… It made his skin flush with anger and humiliation.

Even people who’d worked with him since his first year of residency, a little over four years ago, still had a hard time looking him in the eye. In fact he’d overheard more than one saying how it didn’t seem right, him coming back to work here, “with children”, because apparently where there’s smoke there had to be fire. He’d tell them the only fire they’d find would be the one steaming from the nostrils of his Hellhound ex but he doubted they’d be willing to listen. Only reason he even got his job back was because Dr. Beaver was an old friend of his father’s and in the clinic Jim’s word was law. Some days he wished he could quit, just up and leave this place and the whole gossip mill with it, but he needed the job with its benefits and, more importantly, he needed to stay close to his daughter.

Just the thought of Marie was enough to lighten his mood. It was finally his day to pick her up and he couldn’t wait to hold her in his arms. Of all the things he hated Joanne for – and there were plenty! – the fact that he’d been deprived of almost a year of his daughter’s life, a year he would never get back, topped the list. He’d missed her being able to sit up on his own, stand on her own, take the first steps. Say the first word. And God, just all the little things, like the milky baby smell that was all but gone by the time he finally got to bury his nose in her silky fine hair again. Right before all hell broke loose he’d felt the first tooth under his fingertip, just starting to break through. The next time he saw her, her smile showed a row of tiny pearly white teeth. Her baby blue eyes had turned green, her rosy cheeks had freckles. And she had no idea who her daddy was.

Jensen sighed. Half an hour and he’d be done for the day, _and_ the weekend, _and_ he could go pick up his daughter at the daycare. Where possibly maybe he’d run into a certain tall unicorn lover and… make disastrous attempts at flirting.

He blushed just thinking about it. Truth was, apart from an alcohol-blurred memory of some guy sucking his cock in med school, Jensen hadn’t actually… Well, he’d been “straight”, hadn’t he? Trying to be anyway. And then he’d married because that’s what you do when you accidentally impregnate the girl you’re trying to be straight with. And then he was a dad _and_ married until… well, _that_ happened with everything that followed, which didn’t exactly put him on the Most Eligible Gay Bachelor list. And since then he’d been busy getting his life back and raising Marie and not giving into the urge to kill his ex-wife. So… yes. The truth was...

The truth was he really liked Jared. And he thought possibly maybe Jared liked him back. Problem was, he had no fucking clue what to do next. How to actually be gay in praxis, not just, you know, by himself. Because he was getting very good at that. His laptop alone held an impressive number of gay porn. If he ever managed to get Jared into bed with him he would be the most educated guy who’d never had actual gay sex that Jared would ever meet.

Well, providing real life was anything like gay porn. He had a horrible suspicion it wasn’t, not any more than straight porn, something he’d found out the hard way. If it _had_ been he possibly might have avoided the whole accidental-pregnancy-leading-to-marriage disaster. Then again, if he had, he wouldn’t have Marie. And despite the hell Joanna put him through, Jensen knew he wouldn’t change a single thing if it meant he still had his daughter. That being said, he was more than ready to put all that crap behind him and start living his life as a single gay man. Or possibly not so single, if he ever got up the nerve to ask Jared out.

He’d been doing his best to flirt with Jared every time they met but it was anything but easy seeing as Marie was usually right _there_. And Jared seemed clueless to his vague and sometimes, he had to admit, obscure innuendos. Or maybe he was just not interested. Maybe he had a boyfriend. Or maybe he wasn’t even gay. (No, he was. Definitely. Seriously, no straight guy would ever dress the way Jared dressed. Although Jensen was not sure _gay_ guys dressed the way Jared dressed. Really, what was up with all those cartoon characters?)

Or maybe, just maybe, Jensen thought, face turning grim, someone had told Jared about Jensen being a potential pedophile.

There was a knock on the door, jerking him out of his rapidly darkening thoughts. Jensen hastily forced on a smile before calling out an invite. Work now, less than happy thoughts were better put on hold until later.

\-----------

“Michael, no. Stop that. Come here!”

How was it possible for a kid not even one-third his size, to outrun him, Jared wondered as he once again missed the boy by an inch. It was like trying to catch a slippery fish in water. A slippery fish covered in mud and smelling like poop.

A daring side-jump finally put him in reach and he could feel his fingers grasp the sleeve of the boy’s jacket. Yes! That was –

The next thing he knew he was blinking up at someone’s head, haloed by the bright sun, hovering above him.

“Oh good, you’re alive,” a deep and somewhat familiar voice said and just like that the motherfucker of all headaches slammed into his forehead.

“Ow! Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He clutched at his head, rolling over on his side in agony. The world started spinning and he was pretty sure he was going to throw up.

“Easy, tiger,” the voice said, a warm hand settling between his shoulder blades. “Just breathe.”

“Breathe? My fucking brain is leaking out!” Jared gasped.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” a bright voice chanted happily, reminding Jared of where he was. He forced one eye open to see a crowd of tiny people staring at him, most looking intrigued – the happy singer was Michael, the slippery little bastard – but a couple were wide eyed with fear and Marie was crying.

“I’m okay,” he assured them through gritted teeth. “See? Just go play now.”

“Come on, kids. The show is over,” Sophia said. “Jared, honey, you sure you’re okay?”

“No,” he groaned and Marie started bawling. “I mean, yes!” he lied. “I’m fine. I’m fine. Please don’t cry, sweetie, it makes Jared’s head hurt real bad.”

“Marie, it’s okay. Daddy will make Jared all better, okay? Don’t cry, baby.”

Daddy? Jared thought and suddenly he placed the familiar voice. Oh. Oh hell.

He rolled over on his back, feeling sand and mud stick to his shirt, and squinted up at the man crouching by his side, now holding a sniffling Marie in his arms. “Mousse man.”

Jensen frowned. “Yeah, I think he might have a concussion,” he said, looking up at Sophia who was still hovering. “You want me to drive him to the hospital?”

“No hospital,” Jared insisted, shuddering at the thought of yet another bill he couldn’t pay. “I’m fine. I’m just…” He tried to sit up and promptly fell back down. “Ow. Fu- fudge.”

“Come on.” Jensen heaved him up to a sitting position. “Do you have the flashlight?”

“No, I’m just happy to see you,” Jared mumbled before realizing – as a bright light suddenly shone in his eyes – that Jensen was probably not talking to him. Jensen huffed a laugh close enough that Jared felt the breath on his face, smelling of coffee and something sweet.

“Your pupils look normal,” Jensen murmured. “There’s no cut, just the start of a really big bump and the bruise will probably be spectacular. All the colors of the rainbow.”

He sounded more amused than Jared really thought fit for this very grave situation. He might be dying!

“What happened?” he asked, feeling gingerly with his fingers where a bump was definitely forming. Ow! “Did Michael hit me?”

This time Jensen definitely snorted. “Yes, Jared. A two year old knocked you out. He climbed up your gigantic body and smashed your head with a hammer, yelling that he was Thor, the god of thunder.”

Jared blinked. “Really?”

“No. You ran head first into the monkey bar.” Jensen helped him to his feet. “You good to walk?”

Jared nodded and consequently lost his balance, Jensen’s hand gripping his arm the only thing keeping him from falling over.

“Okay, this won’t work. Sophia, do you think you could get Marie’s things for me while I help Jared to the car?”

“Don’t have a car,” Jared told him as he stumbled down the path. “Shouldn’t drive anyway.”

“ _My_ car,” Jensen said patiently. “I’m driving. You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

“Don’t have insurance,” Jared mumbled. “Also, hate doctors.”

“That’s too bad,” Jensen said after a short silence. “Does that apply to all doctors? Even the ones who like mousse?”

“Doctors like mousse?” Jared asked doubtful. Even with a head injury he was pretty sure this was a weird conversation.

“This one does. In fact he’s become addicted to the most amazing chocolate mousse at this nice little Italian restaurant downtown, it’s positively orgasmic.”

“Huh. Just like… oh.” Jared let himself be manhandled into a nice looking jeep, sneaking a deep inhale when Jensen leaned over to fasten his seatbelt. Mmmm. It should be illegal to smell that good. “I might like _some_ doctors,” he said just as Jensen was about to close the door.

The smile that Jensen threw him was enough to make him forget the blinding headache, if only for a moment.

Marie had thankfully stopped crying by the time Jensen carried her out to the car and put her in her car seat. “She was worried about you,” Jensen told Jared as he swung the car into traffic. “Guess she doesn’t think you’re a monster anymore.”

“We’re best friends now,” Jared said, then added fondly, “She’s the only one who’ll sleep with me.”

The car came to a screeching halt, throwing Jared forward in his seat. He looked over in alarm, shocked to see Jensen staring at him, pale and furious. “What… No! Naptime! We nap with the kids and she’s the only one who isn’t scared of sleeping next to me. I didn’t mean… Jesus!”

Jensen blinked, his posture relaxed and he took a shuddering breath. “Sorry. I… Maybe use different wording next time.”

Jared swallowed. “Right. Good idea.” He felt a little sick.

“Please don’t puke in my car,” Jensen said gruffly as he put it in gear and drove on.

They drove in silence until Jared finally dared to ask, “Uhm, where are we going?”

Jensen looked over at him, face blank, but then he seemed to shake himself free of whatever path his thoughts had taken. “What? Oh. Sorry. Home, right? Where do you live?”

“Uh… the other way?” At Jensen’s exasperated look he hastily added, “But it’s okay, I can walk. I mean, probably not, but there’s a bus…”

Jensen shook his head and looked around for a good place to turn around. “You got anyone at home to look after you? You should not be alone after a hit like that.”

“I don’t know,” Jared said, trying to remember Chad’s work schedule. “Maybe?”

“Maybe? Jared, you do live somewhere, right?” Jensen asked, sounding worried. “With people?”

“Yes! I have a roommate. But he’s probably working.” He groaned when something suddenly occurred to him. “Damn, I have to be at the restaurant at seven.”

The light turned green but Jensen didn’t move. He was frowning, looking back at Marie that had fallen asleep in the backseat and then straight ahead, clearly thinking. Finally he said, “Look, I don’t feel good leaving you alone. And forget about work. Call in sick. How many jobs do you have anyway? Should I expect to see you popping up at my gym and the grocery store as well?”

“Not unless you work out at the university gym,” Jared said absently. Did he even have any sick days left at the restaurant? He couldn’t remember.

“You’re going to _university_?”

He looked over to find Jensen staring at him and couldn’t help feeling slightly insulted. “Yeah? I’m not stupid, I just have a concussion,” he muttered.

“No, I didn’t mean…” Jensen shook his head. “How do you even have time to work out?”

“Who says I do?” Jared shot back. Headaches had a tendency to make him bad tempered.

Jensen gave him a pointed look. “I’m a doctor, I know muscles. And yours do definitely not come just from bussing tables and changing diapers.”

Jared stomach did a flip even if he tried his best not to jump to conclusions. Just because Jensen had noticed how he was built, didn’t mean he had been, you know, checking him out. But it did heighten the possibility.

“Actually, I run,” he said.

“Around the world?” Jensen asked, with raised eyebrows.

“No, mostly around the block. And to work. And from work. And to school and from school. And–”

“Okay, I get the picture,” Jensen cut in, putting the car in gear as the light turned green again. He was smiling and seemed to have forgotten all about Jared being a possible child rapist, thank God. “Don’t think you’ll be running for a while though. How’s the head?”

Jared patted his forehead and winced. “Attached. Unfortunately.”

Jensen snorted. “You’ll live. Okay, I’m probably going to regret this but … You can stay with me and Marie for the weekend.” He looked embarrassed when Jared turned to stare at him. “Not like I had any plans anyway. She has a bit of a cold so I thought we’d just stay in. Can’t have her mother accusing me of giving the kid pneumonia,” he muttered in a lowered voice that Jared was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to hear.

“I… Thank you, but I’m fine. Really. Splitting headache, nausea and occasional word vomit but otherwise…”

“Who’s the doctor here?” Jensen said sternly but the crowfeet by his eyes betrayed his amusement.

“You,” Jared reluctantly admitted. “But…”

“So stop arguing.”

Jared closed his mouth. He didn’t really want to argue anyway. Truth was he felt like shit and being alone at home was a bad idea if his head suddenly decided to explode. Also, going home with Jensen? Well, it sure beat his former Friday night plans: staying home jerking off while thinking about Jensen.

“What kind of doctor are you anyway?” he asked as the thought occurred to him. “You’re not like a foot doctor, are you? Because, you know, head, foot? Not the same thing.”

“I’m a brain surgeon,” Jensen said solemnly. “I specialize in fixing people who run into monkey bars.”

Jared stared at him. “Really?”

Jensen chuckled. “No. I’m a pediatrician. Believe me, plenty of head injuries come my way. Some even from monkey bars, but usually from falling off them.”

“Oh.” Jared didn’t know what to say. Being innocently accused of child molestation was bad enough for a father but for one who also worked with children… He didn’t dare ask if Jensen was still practicing. That was a can of worms he had no intention, or even right, to open.

“Here we are,” Jensen said suddenly and swung up a short driveway to a typical small yellow suburban house, complete with a white, if slightly peeling, picket fence and a green overgrown lawn. “Ignore… everything,” he added as he parked and opened the door. “I haven’t got around to tidying this place up yet.”

“Okay. When did you move in?” Jared asked, fumbling with the seatbelt.

“Six months ago.”

“Oh.”

Catching the look in Jared’s eyes Jensen grimaced. “I’ve been busy with work and… stuff. Shut up.”

Jared raised his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything.”

He continued fumbling with the belt as Jensen went to pull grocery bags out of the trunk of the car. He was still at it when Jensen got back from carrying the bags inside. Jensen shot him a worried look but he still got Marie out of the car first and carried the sleeping, ragged-doll limp girl into the house. When he came out again Jared had finally managed to unlock the belt and open the door and was eyeing the ground dubiously. Seriously, how high was this jeep?

“Come on.” Jensen slipped his arm along Jared’s back and under his armpit. “Slowly,” he added and tugged. Jared tipped sideways out of the car and would have crashed to the ground if Jensen hadn’t caught him with both arms, wrapping them around his chest. “Fuck, you’re heavy,” he groaned.

“It’s all muscles,” Jared protested as he tried to find his feet. He was feeling faint but wasn’t sure if it was because of the head injury or because Jensen smelled really, really good.

“Well, how about you use some of them?” Jensen grunted. “Jesus!”

That last word was a half-squeak as Jared tripped over his own feet as well as Jensen’s and then did his very best impression of a tree falling in the forest, but with a lot less grace. Thankfully he didn’t bang his head again but that was only because he had a pretty soft landing, unlike Jensen who went down with a rather undignified yell which turned into an almost childlike whimper when Jared’s knee connected with a tender part of his anatomy.

“God, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“Get off,” Jensen wheezed between clenched teeth. “Off. Off!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Jared rolled off, managing to bang his elbow into Jensen’s nose as he went. “Shit! I’m so sorry. Again. Are you okay?”

Jensen groaned. “I ca belie the le yo ne childn.”

“What?”

Jensen carefully let go of his nose, scrunching it up and wriggling it from side to side as if to make sure it wasn’t broken. Jared wanted to point out it wasn’t even bleeding but thought better of it.

“I said, I can’t believe they let you near children! How many have you killed so far?”

“Dude, I’m not usually this clumsy!” Jared sputtered, indignant. “Well okay, I am, but not like deadly clumsy.”

“You could have fooled me,” Jensen said and sat up with a grimace. “Fuck, I think you broke my spine.”

“I don’t think you would be able to sit up with a broken spine,” Jared said dubious as he sat up as well, then backed off when Jensen glared at him. “But you’re the doctor so I’m sure you’re right.”

“Damn straight.”

Jensen got stiffly to his feet then stood straightening his shoulders and stretching his arms as he tried to realign his crooked-but-not-actually-broken-ha! spine, before dusting the grass and dirt off his ass.

“Come on, we better get inside before Marie wakes up,” he said as he offered Jared his hand. “Jared, you okay?”

Which is when Jared realized he’d been sitting with his mouth open, quite possibly drooling, while the image of Jensen’s tummy peaking out from under his shirt as he stretched, burned its way permanently into his retinas.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Fine. Just a little… haha.” He cleared his throat. “Right.”

He took Jensen’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, then stood swaying for a moment before Jensen once again wrapped an arm around his waist, looking increasingly worried.

“Maybe we should get you to a hospital,” he said, peering thoughtfully into Jared’s eyes. “I’m sure I can arrange something with the bill.”

“I’m fine, really. Just a bit…” His stomach rumbled. “Hungry?”

Jensen raised an eyebrow. It looked really cool and hot at the same time. Jensen defied the rules of temperatures all on his own. Also, Jared might possibly be rambling again because Jesus, Jensen was so close and what was that _smell_? Like cookies and candy and rolling around in manly hot gay sex. He wanted to lick it off Jensen’s neck.

“It’s called _Hot Water_ ,” Jensen said, his face red. “It was a gift.”

“What?”

“My cologne. Can we please stop talking about the way I smell and just go inside, please?”

Jared’s eyes widened. He’d said all that out loud? Maybe he really did have a brain injury. As they made their way slowly into the house he tried to look everywhere but at Jensen and feel anything but the heat of Jensen’s body where it was pressed up against his side. Those were some nice muscles though. Well, Jensen did say he went to a gym. Maybe Jared should check if he could get a job there… Oh wow, this was a really nice house. How much money did doctors make?

“It’s family money,” Jensen said stiffly. “Not that I do badly but…”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with my mouth. It keeps saying stuff all on its own.”

“Yeah, yeah. Here, sit down. I need to go check on Marie.” Jensen dumped Jared on the couch in the living room before stomping off down the hall.

Jared hid his head in his hands and stifled a groan. What was wrong with him? Why was he always such a fucking idiot?

“Hey, you okay? Does your head hurt?”

He looked up to find Jensen standing over him, looking not pissed off but actually concerned. “It’s fine. I mean, yeah, it hurts but not too bad. I’m just, you know…” He stopped and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll call a cab.”

Jensen frowned. “Why?”

“Uhm, so you can get rid off me?”

If anything Jensen only looked more confused. “Why would I ask you here and then want to get rid off you?”

“Well, I crushed your balls, sniffed your neck and insulted your income. I’m thinking I better leave before you decide to have me fired from your daughter’s kindergarten.”

Jensen snorted. “Dude, my daughter would never speak to me again if I had you fired. And she’s pretty much the only person who still talks to me. Which is pathetic because she’s two and mostly speaks in single syllables so…”

“Why won’t people talk to you?” Jared asked confused and then he remembered. His face went so red he was sure it would catch fire any minute. By the way Jensen’s face shut down he knew exactly what Jared was thinking, which only made him feel a hundred times worse.

“I wouldn’t think you’d have time for gossip in a your workplace. Guess I was wrong.” He started to turn away but Jared grabbed him by the wrist.

“Dude, it’s not like that,” he said. “I asked, okay? Not about… I just asked if you and Marie’s mom were divorced. Something you said made me wonder.” Not really how it went down but the truth was just a little too humiliating.

“And what? They told you, yeah, who’d want to be married to a child molesting creep?” Jensen asked harshly. His face was pale and the pressed lips made a taut white line.

“No, they told me that they all wish you’d get custody over Marie because you make her a lot happier than her mother’s ever done.”

Jensen stood still, staring at him in surprise. Then he suddenly turned around and walked away but not before Jared caught a glimpse of tears filling his eyes. Jared sat still, not sure what to do. He felt like a tool and he had no idea if he’d just made matters better or worse. Time ticked by and he started to nod off, finally his head fell back and that’s all he knew until he woke up to someone crawling into his lap.

“Jad!” said a bright happy voice and warm soft arms wrapped themselves around his neck. “Jad!”

“Shh, shh, Maire. Let Jared sleep,” a voice that Jared recognized as Jensen’s whispered but Marie obviously thought Jared’s naptime should be over, just like hers. She kissed Jared sloppily on the cheek and tugged at his hair. He pretended to sleep until her tugs started to get painful then he threw his eyes opened and tackled her down on the couch, tickling her until she squealed with laughter.

“Well, you obviously feel better,” Jensen said as he walked in, carrying a tray containing two sodas and one juice.

Jared let go of Marie, who instantly started jumping on the couch, and sat up, gingerly touching his head. “Yeah. Still hurts but I don’t feel as dizzy,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Marie, get off the couch, honey. You know that’s not allowed.” Jensen put a protesting Marie on the floor before sitting down beside Jared and turning on the TV. “I’d offer you a beer but I kinda have a rule not to mix alcohol with head injuries.” He frowned. “You are old enough to drink beer, right?”

“Dude, I’m twenty four,” Jared said, indignant. The soda was cool and refreshing and thankfully helped clear his head even further.

“Sorry.” Jared didn’t think Jensen sounded sorry in the least. If anything he sounded quite pleased. “Guess you just look young. Might be the clothes.”

Jared looked down on his t-shirt. It was one of those he’d found at Goodwill. This one had a picture of the Power Puff Girls. It was a little snug but not as obscenely tight as the unicorn one had been. His sneaky plan of luring the kids in with cartoon characters and other fictional creatures had worked fine. Plus it meant he didn’t stain his regular clothes with paint or puke or spaghetti sauce or whatever else the kids decided to throw at him that day. Today’s artfully applied stain was meatloaf with ketchup.

“This?” he said with a flamboyant flick of his wrist. “Honey, this is in now. Don’t you follow Fashion Weekly?”

Jensen snorted. “On what channel? Nickelodeon?”

“Funny. Your daddy is a funny man, Marie.”

Marie barely spared him a glance, too busy attacking a Disney princess themed coloring book with her crayons. Jensen just laughed.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching a rather busty young woman apologizing for the coming weekend’s less than prime weather. Jared couldn’t help wondering if they’d made her pop open an extra button to distract the viewers from all the clouds graying the area map.

“So…” Jensen suddenly said. He cleared his throat. Jared looked over but Jensen’s eyes were set on the TV, his cheeks slightly flushed. “About earlier…” Jensen finally continued, then cleared his throat again. “What you said.”

“I was only repeating what they told me. Not that we talk about you,” Jared added hastily. “Or actually have time to gossip. I mean, everyone there works really hard and…”

“Jared, breathe,” Jensen said, giving him a small smile. “I’m not mad. I’m trying to say thank you.”

“Oh.” Jared didn’t know what to say. It was an odd thing to be thankful for, people not thinking you were a monster. But then again, for Jensen it probably wasn’t.

“I’m really sorry that happened to you,” Jared said, choosing his words carefully seeing as Marie was less than two feet away. “I mean, anyone can see you love Marie more than anything. And that she loves you. For what it’s worth, I agree with them. About, you know, which one of you should have her.”

Jensen didn’t answer, just sat and stared at the TV, but after a while he nodded and stood up. “I’m just gonna…” he mumbled, voice a little hoarse. “Dinner. You must be starving.”

Jared felt awkward. As if it wasn’t enough that he was taking up space and what precious time Jensen had with his daughter, now Jensen was going to feed him as well? “You don’t have to…” he started but Jensen was already out of the room and gone to the kitchen, judging by the banging of pots and pans a few moments later.

Jared sat still, not sure what he should do. He felt like he should at least offer to help, even if his cooking skills were less than lacking, but that meant leaving Marie on her own. Daycare policy stated to never leave the kids alone in a room, not even for a minute. Not just for the kids’ safety, Jared suspected, but because if something did happen, however minor, it would make the daycare center susceptible for suspicion of neglect. Now, Jared’s nephews and nieces pretty much ran around wherever they wanted but the Padaleckis were a tough bunch and a few cuts and scrapes never really worried anyone. Knowing how protective Jensen was of Marie it was just as likely that he’d have Jared’s head on a platter if something happened to her under his watch. Even if they were in Jensen’s home and Jared wasn’t technically on duty.

“Do you need help?” he finally decided to holler over the noise from the TV and kitchen. Something hit him on the nose and he yelped, turning sharply. Marie was glaring at him, the crayon she’d thrown at him lying on the carpet.

“Sshh!” she hissed. “Don yell!”

“Sorry, sweetie.” He gave her an apologetic smile, duly chastened. “Do you think we should help your daddy make dinner?”

“No,” she dismissed and turned back to her coloring book. Cinderella was now covered in patches of brown, yellow and green, not a single one of them within any set lines.

Okay, that settled that. He sat back on the couch again, a little out of sorts. He had no idea what was on TV but it looked very boring. Something about trucks. He looked around the living room, again noticing how newly moved in it looked. Not that his and Chad’s place would ever be featured in any interior design magazines but at least it looked lived in. Here the walls were bare, the furniture were scarce and there were boxes labeled ‘BOOKS’ and ‘CDS’ littering the floor. It was a shame because it was a really nice house that could be made to feel like an actual home if Jensen just put in a little effort.

He was already rearranging some of the furniture in his mind when Jensen came back, wearing a black apron with the words “Sexy & Single” printed on front. “It should only be about twenty minutes,” he said, still looking awkward. “Hope you like chicken and pasta.”

“My favorite,” Jared said happily.

Jensen gave him a suspicious look. “Really?”

“Dude, any food I don’t have to cook myself is my favorite,” Jared assured him. “So I guess that answers my question,” he dared to add. “The single part, I mean, the sexy one I’d already figured out.”

Jensen flushed red, blinking rapidly. “What?”

Jared gestured at the declaration on his chest. “Talking about fashion…”

Jensen looked down, clearly confused, but then his face broke out into the most wonderful smile that would have had Jared’s knees buckling if he wasn’t already sitting down.

“My so-called best friend gave it to me last Christmas.” Jensen chuckled. “It came with a chef hat that says ‘Gay Man Cooking’. She swears she found it like that but I’m pretty sure she had it special made.”

“She sounds like a great friend,” Jared said wistfully. Last Christmas Chad gave him a month’s subscription to Playboy.

Jensen smiled fondly. “She is. The best,” he said and walked back into the kitchen, leaving Jared on the couch, feeling happy Jensen had someone like that in his life and insanely jealous that that someone wasn’t him. Except for the girl part, he liked his dick way too much to exchange it for boobs. Both because he doubted they’d suit him but also because it would put a rather abrupt halt to all he things he wanted to do to Jensen with said dick, things he was pretty sure Jensen would also appreciate more than boobs.


	3. Chapter 3

After a while he decided to risk standing up on his own. He was a bit lightheaded at first – Chad would probably say it was the high altitude – but he really felt a lot better than before, in fact he rather doubted he actually needed a babysitter. This wasn’t his first bump on the head and it wouldn’t be his last – an unfortunate side effect of being both tall and clumsy. The right thing to do was to let Jensen know that as grateful as Jared was for his offer, it wasn’t actually necessary. He could very well take care of himself.

“You wanna show me your kitchen?” he asked Marie innocently. “I’m afraid I’ll get lost on my own.”

She gave him a look that said he was obviously a baby if he couldn’t even find his way into the kitchen but she got up anyway and offered him her hand. Together they made their way slowly further into the house, Jared bent and crooked to cross the significant distance between his arm reach and hers. He could hear cheerful humming as they got closer. Once they reached the kitchen Marie let go of his hand and went to the fridge where a magic eraser board hung at her level and started drawing on that instead.

Jared was left standing in the doorway, enjoying the sight of Jensen stirring a pot of pasta between chopping vegetables, all the while humming under his breath and making small shimmy movements with his hips in rhythm with whatever song was playing in his head. It was funny and dorky and absolutely adorable. Jared didn’t know whether to laugh or melt from the cuteness.

As Jared was about to make his presence known, Jensen suddenly changed from humming to actually singing, low and happy sounding, and Jared lost all ability to speak, move or even breathe. This Jensen was so different from the angry man Jared had met that first day or the sarcastic quick-with-a-quip guy he’d learned to know since then, or even the sweet but in many ways fragile father he was with Marie. Up until now Jared’s main focus had been on how much he wanted to fuck Jensen’s smoking hot body, but watching him now made him realize he really wanted to get to know him, all of him. The dorky part, the sexy part, the funny part, even the grumpy part. The realization made him a little weak in the knees.

It wasn’t until Marie started singing along (which, really, if Jared wasn’t dead already from the Ackles family cuteness he’d drop right there) that Jensen looked up and noticed he wasn’t alone.

“Oh hey, baby, did you leave Jared…” Jensen glanced over his shoulder and Jared gave him a weak little wave from the doorway. “Oh.” Jensen coughed and cleared his throat. “Dinner should be ready in just a few minutes,” he said, voice low and gravelly as if to make up for his slip from Acceptable American Male Behavior.

Jared thought of making a joke about how the show usually came _after_ dinner but Jensen looked embarrassed enough already. Instead he said, “Need any help?” and hoped that Jensen didn’t ask him to make the salad because as far as chopping went he liked his own fingers too much to add them to the mix.

“You could set the table,” Jensen murmured, still doing a pretty good impression of Batman. “Usual plates are over there, Marie’s stuff in this cupboard, forks and knifes in the drawer here.” He gestured with his elbows and chin, hands still busy tending to the food.

“Glasses?” Jared asked, mostly because he was curious to see how many different body parts Jensen could use to point, but Jensen only nodded his head again, this time toward the cupboard above the sink. Not that Jared really expected him to do a round kick or butt bump but still, it would have been funny.

“You have your kitchen reasonably organized,” he noted as he went around gathering what they needed and setting the table. “I mean, compared to the rest of the house.”

“Haha. Shut up,” Jensen said with a smile then added, “I have a friend who likes to cook.”

“Oh.” Jared wanted to ask if this friend was the same friend who gave Jensen the apron and was therefore a non-threatening female friend, or if it was perhaps another friend, maybe a possible rival male friend.

Thing was, Jensen was pretty hard to read. Sometimes it felt like he was flirting but, if he were, he was really, really bad at it. Like when he asked Jared if he liked beer but then, instead of following it up with, “We should go have a drink sometime,” he started talking about different brands and brewing techniques. And then there was the time he told Jared he spent most of his Marie-less evenings alone, but before Jared had the chance to suggest they’d meet to up and do something together, he’d added “Which is great. Helps me catch up on my reading.”

For being a hot, sexy and charming almost thirty-year-old doctor, Jensen was the least suave person Jared had met. And he was best friends with Chad.

“Okay, this should do it,” Jensen said and put a bowl of salad on the table, before draining the pasta and placing it with the broiled chicken breasts in what smelled like creamy coconut sauce, beside it. “Up you go, honey.”

As Jensen settled Marie in her chair, cut up her food and made sure she started eating, Jared served himself a generous portion because he was fucking starving. The first bite had him closing his eyes and making a sound that rivaled Jensen’s food porn noises. “Oh man, this is _good_!”

Jensen shrugged but he looked pleased. “It’s my mom’s recipe,” he said. “Easy but tasty.”

“I’d say.” Jared pretty much inhaled his first portion and eagerly went for seconds. “You should tell your mom to call my mom. Together they could take over the world, one tasty recipe at a time.”

Jensen’s smile fell. “More water?” he asked gruffly and stood up, turning his back to fill the pitcher.

Jared swallowed. Guess when Jensen said Marie was pretty much the only person in his life, he wasn’t just talking about friends and colleagues. He wondered if he should maybe apologize but figured it would only make the situation even more awkward, whether his assumption was accurate or not.

Jensen took his time filling the pitcher and when he returned he had a polite smile plastered on his face that looked in no way real. Jared pretended not to notice. Jensen obviously felt uncomfortable talking about the whole thing, not surprisingly, and it wasn’t as if they knew each other well enough for Jared to stick his nose in Jensen’s business anyway.

They finished eating while engaging in awkward chitchat and after dinner Jensen cleaned up Marie and went to put her to bed while Jared took care of the kitchen. Neither of them mentioned that if he was well enough to do the dishes he was probably well enough to go home.

He was sitting in front of the TV again, sound down low, by the time Jensen came back. Jensen looked tired, even if it was only eight o’clock, and the couch creaked loudly when he sat down, as if his troubles were weighing him down. Jared threw him a small smile then continued to stare at the TV, pretending not to notice Jensen rubbing a hand over his face and look heavenwards for a moment, like he was seeking strength from a God many people claimed hated him.

“You okay?” Jared asked when Jensen hadn’t said anything for a while.

Jensen glanced at him, his eyes untouched by the small smile at one corner of his lips. “Yeah. Just a lot on my mind.” He laughed dully. “Was just imagining what my ex would say if she knew you were here.”

Jared went still. “Huh?” he said, nervously.

“Don’t know why but she seems to think you working at Marie’s daycare is yet another devious ploy serving the gay agenda.”

“What?” Jared sputtered, shocked.

“Dude, relax,” Jensen hastened to reassure him. “It’s not your problem, it’s mine.”

“It will be mine if they decide to fire me,” Jared said glumly, wondering if he should tell Jensen about Marie’s mom’s meeting with Sam.

“Not gonna happen. She tried and they wouldn’t. Apparently you’re a ‘model employee, enthusiastic and have a positive influence on the children’,” Jensen quoted, grinning.

“Sam said that?” Jared asked incredulous.

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either,” Jensen said with a frown. “Maybe she got you mixed up with someone else.”

“Haha, funny.” Jared shook his head, for once rather lost for words. He couldn’t remember anyone ever calling him a model employee. And his brother sure would dispute the claim that he had a positive influence on children, especially after that whole fart contest he held with his nephew and niece last summer that ended rather messily. “Oh wow. Maybe I should ask for a raise.”

Jensen snorted. “After working there for, what, four weeks? Yeah, I wouldn’t push my luck.”

“Maybe later,” Jared mused. “After I’ve worked my ‘influence’ a little more. Bet I could teach them to say ‘Jared is the best’ if I offer them some kind of reward. Piggyback rides, maybe. They love my piggyback rides.”

Jensen smirked. “Probably because you make the noises. Oink, oink.”

Jared turned his head to stare at him. “How do you know about my piggy noises? Have you been stalking me? Did you plant nanny cams at the daycare? Oh my god, you’re secret service, aren’t you? Jensen, are you a man in black? I knew it, Michael, that little fucker, he’s an alien, isn’t he?”

To Jared’s delight, Jensen laughed. “No. I just happen to have a two year old that suddenly demands I say oink oink, ‘Like Jad’, every time she climbs on my back.”

An image of Jensen on all fours with Marie riding his back, screaming ‘Dada say oink, oink!’ popped into Jared’s head and he burst out laughing.

“Yeah, yeah, you laugh now,” Jensen grumbled. “Not so funny when it’s six o’clock in the morning and you haven’t even had your first cup of coffee.”

If anything that only made Jared laugh louder. Until he this time was assaulted with the image of a sleep-rumbled Jensen with bed hair and scruff, making sweet pornographic love to a cup of coffee. His laughter cut off and he fought the urge to groan. Damn, these jeans were a little tight.

“You okay?” Jensen asked, looking a little worried at Jared’s undoubtedly suspicious mood swings. “Oh, how’s the head? Better?”

Jared shrugged. “As long as I don’t move it too much, it’s fine.” He hesitated. “I don’t need to stay, honestly, I could go home. Get out of your hair.”

Jensen looked at him, frowning slightly. Then, without warning, he reached over and brushed Jared’s hair from his forehead, making Jared suck in his breath in surprise. Jensen’s fingers were warm and gentle as they gingerly touched the area around Jared’s bump. Jensen’s gaze was focused but reassuring, lips a little pursed. It’s what Jared guessed was his serious ‘doctor’s face’. It was really, really hot.

“Yeah, you probably could,” Jensen said absently but then his gaze shifted to Jared’s and he added in a low voice, “Don’t.”

Jared swallowed. “No?”

Jensen shook his head, eyes unreadable.

Jared felt a little lightheaded. He probably should stay. Just in case. “Okay.”

They held each other’s gaze but just when Jared thought that Jensen was going to lean over and kiss him, he suddenly sat back, grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels.

Jared breathed out slowly. That had been a moment, right? Sure felt like a moment. And then… nothing. He’d accuse Jensen of being a tease but… Looking at him now he looked more relaxed and content than Jared ever remembered seeing him. His cheeks were a little rosy, there was a soft smile playing upon his lips and his skin had smoothed out, leaving him looking less tired and more… well, sleepy. It wasn’t a real surprise when Jared looked over again a few minutes later and found Jensen asleep. Head lolled to the side, lips parted, eyelashes dusting his cheek.

For once Jared allowed himself to just stare. He didn’t consider himself a shallow person, he liked to think he looked at people’s inner beauty rather than outer, but… God, Jensen was so damn pretty! It was hard to just sit there and not reach out to touch him. He could still feel the warmth of Jensen’s fingertips on his forehead and knew that if he touched Jensen’s face he would find the same heat there. Would feel the slight prickle of the stubble and could imagine what it would feel like against his cheek or, oh god, the soft skin of his inner thigh. He imagined touching Jensen’s lips, they looked firm but were undoubtedly soft and would give if he pressed down on them, just a little. And if he leaned over and touched Jensen’s lips with his own he would feel Jensen’s breath slip into his mouth, warm and damp and tasting like Jared’s breath because they shared the same dinner. He could run his fingers over Jensen’s soft shorthairs, cradle his ear and feel him lean into the touch in his sleep, just a little. And then he could just stay like that, lips on lips, breath mingling with breath, as he stared at Jensen’s closed eyes, at the shadow of his pupils moving under the thin eyelids and felt the tips of Jensen’s eyelashes tickle his cheek. All without Jensen ever knowing…

Jared closed his eyes and groaned. Oh god, that was the creepiest thing ever! He was a bad, bad man. He was going to hell. He was… so hard his balls were choking. Fuck.

Jared shifted in his seat, about to stand up and go to the bathroom for a little relief, when Jensen sighed and tilted to the side, pulling up his legs and settling down on the couch, using Jared’s thigh for a pillow. His arm came up, hand fumbling for the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch. He pulled it down and over most of his body before burying his face in the denim of Jared’s jeans and falling back asleep, all without ever opening his eyes. It was the practiced move of a man that was used to spending his nights on the couch, rather than make the move into his bedroom. Obviously, being more or less unconscious, Jensen had forgotten he had company.

Jared sat frozen. The back of Jensen’s head lay snuggled up against Jared’s aching dick. He was breathing moist warm air into Jared’s skin through a conveniently (well, that was debatable) placed rip in the jeans. He had one hand tugged under his chest, the other lay curled against Jared’s thigh.

Jared lifted his hand and carefully let it settle on Jensen’s shoulder. After a while he slid it a little higher, allowing his fingertips to touch the shorthairs on Jensen’s neck. Then still a little higher, sliding his fingers through Jensen’s hair. Once, then again, petting him very, very carefully. He’d been right, it was so soft. Like silk under his palm. Jensen mumbled in his sleep. Jared stopped and guiltily withdrew his hand. Creep. Such a creep. Except now he didn’t really know what to do with his arm. He tried to lay it along the back of the couch but the ledge was narrow and his arm kept slipping off. Finally he gave up and lay his palm on Jensen’s shoulder again. Jensen’s body heat had him feeling warm and comfortable. After a while even his dick relaxed. The sound from the TV was almost too low to hear, it didn’t take long until the murmur lulled Jared to sleep, his hand slipping down from Jensen’s shoulder to settle on his chest, right over his heart.

\-----------

Jensen woke up on the couch. This was nothing new. Despite the boxes of books and CDs littering the floor, he felt a lot more at home in his living room than his bedroom which was pretty much just a bed frame with a mattress and a small bedside table. He didn’t sleep well in there. He didn’t exactly have nightmares… well, sometimes he did but he tried not to think about those. The room just made him feel terribly alone. The only times he didn’t mind sleeping there was when Marie woke up in the middle of the night and cuddled up with him. And how pathetic was that, needing the company of a two year old to sleep properly?

So yeah, the couch was no surprise. The small hand tugging at his wasn’t either. Marie usually climbed out of bed once she got bored of waiting for him to wake up and set out to do it herself. What _did_ feel different was the heavy weight on his chest and the warm spot on his stomach. Jensen blinked his eyes open and carefully turned his head. Jared was half-lying, half-sitting, legs sprawled, head tilted back and yes, arm hugging Jensen’s chest, the hand settled on Jensen’s tummy, under his t-shirt.

Jensen breathed out slowly. He had no idea what to do. On one hand, it felt really nice to be cuddled, even if it was by a – hot, very hot and charming – stranger, because it had been forever since anyone grownup was that close to him. On the other hand… his daughter was right there, staring at him, pink pacifier still in her mouth. Oh god. He tried to move to sit up but Jared’s arm was heavy and there was no chance he’d be able to get away without waking Jared up. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he just wasn’t ready for that.

“Hey, baby,” he whispered with a small smile. “You awake already?”

She nodded solemnly. “Jad?” she said, sounding confused and a little suspicious.

“Jared was tired,” Jensen told her, keeping his voice low. “So he got to sleep over. Like you do at grandma’s?”

She nodded again, like that made perfect sense. When she was tired she slept. And grownups slept on their couches all the time, at least her daddy did, and grandpa fell asleep watching TV all the time. She still didn’t look too happy though. “My dada,” she said with a pout and moved to grab Jared’s hand, assumingly to pull it away.

“Come here,” Jensen said with a smile, pulling her close before she had a chance to wake Jared up. “How about we watch a little TV?”

He reached for the remote, careful to make no sharp or jerking movements, and turned it on, finding Nickelodeon. The sound was still way down low since last night, but he’d long learned to set the timer to turn the TV off after a certain hour since otherwise it would be on all night, most nights. Marie happily settled down on the floor, eyes glued to the screen, allowing her dad to relax back into his guest’s unknowing embrace. He felt a little guilty, the TV was _not_ supposed to serve as a babysitter and he knew he should get up and make her breakfast. Plus, her diaper was probably wet. But just for a moment he allowed himself to enjoy being wrapped up in the arms of a man (he hardly knew, hadn’t even kissed and was surely about to have a very awkward moment with once he woke up, any minute now) and pretend it actually meant something.

\----------

Jared was having a very nice dream. In the dream he was married (to Jensen of all people), had a beautiful house and an adorable kid (that looked and sounded suspiciously like Marie) and was living the perfect blissful marital life he’d never realized he wanted. Even now, as he was waking up, it still felt so real that when he blearily opened his eyes and found the TV turned on but partly obscured by a small blond head, and the warmth of a firm body pressed against his, for a moment he didn’t even question it. Instead he slid his hand higher under his partner’s soft t-shirt, fingers running over the even softer skin of the man’s stomach and chest, before pulling him closer and bending down to nuzzle happily into the (oh god, so sweet smelling) hair, and sleepily murmur, “Morning, baby.”

His dream husband went practically rigid in his arms. “Uh…” he said, sounding slightly panicked, and just like that Jared was instantly _actually_ awake.

For a moment the whole room, apart from the TV and Marie happily singing along with the Teletubbies, seemed to freeze.

“So this is not a dream,” Jared finally said, rather awkwardly.

“No,” came the muffled reply. “Sorry.”

Jared was suddenly painfully aware of his hand, fingers splayed across Jensen’s (firm, hot, nipples!) chest, and the ridge of his morning wood growing steadily harder against the hot weight of Jensen’s head.

“I should move,” he decided.

“You should,” Jensen agreed quietly.

They both stayed absolutely still. Jared’s fingers twitched nervously, one grazing a very perky nipple, which made Jensen suck in a short breath which made Jared’s _dick_ twitch happily which made Jensen breath out that same breath, now all hot and damp and seeping through Jared’s jeans. Jared had to bite his lip not to moan. ‘There’s a two-year-old, right there,’ he reminded himself. ‘Don’t be that guy.’

“I might have drooled on your jeans,” Jensen murmured suddenly.

Jared bit his lip. “That’s okay.” He didn’t add, ‘My penis is probably drooling in your hair,’ but it was damn close.

Jensen finally shifted, and then he sat up, rubbing a hand over his face. He grimaced and wiped his lips on the back of his hand, then looked over at Jared with a cautious smile that was so damn adorable Jared had no idea how he managed not to grab the guy and kiss the morning breath right out of his mouth.

“How’s your head?”

Jared contemplated lying, just so Jensen would take a look again, but thought better off it. “Good. Can hardly tell I have a bump the size of a lemon stuck to my melon.”

Jensen nodded, seeming pleased and maybe also a little disappointed but that was probably Jared’s imagination. “Breakfast?”

Jared’s stomach gave a loud growl.

“I’m thinking that means yes,” Jensen said with soft laugh. “Okay, so you just stay here and…”

“I have to pee,” Jared blurted out, suddenly realizing he hadn’t gone to the bathroom since sometimes yesterday afternoon.

Jensen blinked. “Right. So you do that and…” He paused. “Yeah, I need to go as well. But you first.” He gestured to the hallway. “Second door to the right.”

Jared got up, wobbling a little from sleeping in the same awkward position all night that had left his spine very unhappy, and also because, despite his rather desperate bladder, his dick was still embarrassingly hard. Making sure to face away from Jensen (and thanking God Marie’s eyes were still glued to the TV) he hurriedly made his way down the hall, found the bathroom and then spent the next two minutes trying to get his stubborn dick, that had been expecting to release something a lot more exciting than pee, to co-operate. After giving it an apologetic pat for not getting what it hoped for, he tried to give his unruly mop of hair a little grooming. The face that met his in the mirror was scruffy and sleepy with flushed cheeks and a look in the eyes that spelt trouble. Or lust. Which was basically the same. He was so screwed.

When he returned, Jensen was in the kitchen, whipping up what looked like a whole dozen of eggs. He wasn’t quite like Jared’s last night fantasy come to life but close enough. There was bed hair and scruff and Jensen looked sleep-rumbled but the coffee was still brewing so no porn noises, not yet anyway. Jensen threw him a smile and told him to sit down and make himself at home (which honestly, he’d already cuddled the home-owner in his sleep, on the home-owner’s couch, how much more at home could he get?) and then made a beeline for the bathroom.

Jared took a peek into the living room to make sure Marie was all right and found her using one of the couch cushions as a pony while still singing along to whatever was on TV. Some creatures made out of clay that Jared didn’t recognize. He returned to the kitchen and sat down by the table, looking around for something to do while he waited. There was a folded newspaper lying on the corner and even if it was several days old it was better than staring at the wall, he thought. As usual there was nothing interesting in it. Except the crossword section that hadn’t been filled out yet. There were pens and pencils in a jar on the table, probably for Marie’s sudden drawing urges, so Jared grabbed a ballpoint pen and started filling out the small squares. Within five minutes he’d done about a quarter and had a pretty good idea what should go into at least half of the rest.

“Oh come on. Seriously?”

Jared glanced up. Jensen, sporting clean clothes and wet hair, was glaring at him, looking pretty miffed. “What?”

“Dude, I’ve been looking forward to that all week!” Jensen sighed, even pouted a little, and shook his head. “Now what am I supposed to spend my Sunday on?”

Jared blinked. “You were going to spend Sunday, all Sunday, doing the crossword puzzle?”

Jensen glanced at him over his shoulder where he was fetching mugs from the overhead cupboard. “Not _all_ Sunday…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, yes? Maybe? I was gonna do laundry. And play with Marie… You don’t have to make that face, I know I’m the most boring person alive.”

“That does sound boring, yeah,” Jared admitted, “but I was rather focusing on… Seriously, it takes you all day to fill this out?”

Jensen glared at him again. It was not so much intimidating as it was really, really cute. “Hey! It’s not like it’s easy, there are some really hard ones…” His voice trailed off when Jared pushed the paper over, showing him how much he had done already. He scowled. “Okay, who are you? Stephen Hawking’s younger brother?”

“The family resemblance is striking, I know,” Jared agreed. “Too bad he got all the sexy genes.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jensen said solemnly, ducking away when Jared tried to swat him over the head. “What can I say, I have a thing for hot wheels,” he added as he poured hot steaming coffee into the mugs.

“I have hot wheels,” Jared pouted as he accepted his coffee then put two spoonfuls of sugar and a lot of milk in, to Jensen’s obvious disgust.

“You just told me yesterday, you didn’t have a car,” Jensen reminded him but Jared waved that away.

“Who said anything about a car? Dude, I have a kickass bike.”

“You have a motorcycle?” Jensen said, a look of horror on his face. “Jared, do you know how many accidents–?”

Jared snorted. “Regular bike. It has a bell and everything.”

Jensen just stared at him. “Okay, yeah, you’re weird,” he said and finally picked up his coffee. Jared watched him over the rim of his own mug. “What?” Jensen said, frowning. He still hadn’t even tasted the drink, it was very frustrating.

“Nothing. Just thinking. Cheers!” Jared lifted his mug and smiled before taking a big gulp that instantly burned the back of his throat. Ow. Not that he cared, he was practically bouncing with anticipation. Don’t let me down, porn-sound Jensen, he prayed.

Jensen gave him a suspicious look before lifting the mug again. His eyes closed, he inhaled deeply, and then he took a careful sip, seeing as his milk free coffee was close to boiling. Jared stared, ears straining. And then it came. At first there was a small happy humming noise when the coffee’s bitter taste first hit Jensen’s tongue. Then a look of bliss as he savored it in his mouth before letting it escape down his throat, Adam’s apple bouncing. His lips parted, eyes opened slowly to reveal dilated pupils, slightly glazed over. And finally, yes, a low drawn out moan that had Jared wishing he’d jerked off earlier instead of postponing it until whenever he went home. Fuck.

He gave Jensen a strained smile and took another sip of his own coffee. Jensen smiled back, oblivious to Jared’s almost painful enjoyment, and continued making love to the drink in a way that bordered on religious. Jared figured if there was a Java god somewhere it had to be a very happy one if it got to experience this every morning.

The thought reminded him of his dream and he suddenly realized how much he wanted to witness this every morning. Jensen sleeping, Jensen waking up, Jensen being grumpy, Jensen getting into the shower, Jensen getting out of the shower, Jensen brushing his teeth, Jensen getting dressed, Jensen drinking his coffee…

Picking up Marie after work, making dinner, watching TV, putting her to bed then taking Jared to bed to make sweet sweaty love to him, putting those obscene noises he always made to some proper use.

“Are you all right?” Jensen asked, jerking Jared out of his thoughts.

He swallowed then tried for a smile. “Yeah, I’m… hungry maybe.”

Jensen looked slightly worried. “You sure your head is okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I should probably, you know, head home soon.”

“Oh.” Jensen looked as if he wanted to say something but then he closed his mouth again and gave Jared a brief smile. “Yeah, sure. Of course.” He turned away, picking up the bowl of whipped eggs. “Thought I’d make us omelets. If you’ve got time.”

“Yeah. Time. That’s pretty much all I’ve got.” Jared smiled but if anything Jensen looked even less happy. Jared both hoped and didn’t hope that it was because Jensen had secretly been hoping Jared would spend all that extra time with him.

Thing was, he couldn’t fall in love with Jensen. Well, obviously he _could_ and judging by the panic he was feeling right now, he probably already was. But, and this was a big but, having a crush on someone and even wanting to sleep with them wasn’t the same as thinking that person might be the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. They hardly even knew each other!

Sure, there was attraction, at least on his part. Pulling him down like gravity, so fast he felt like he should be bracing himself for impact. If Marie hadn’t been there he would definitely have put the move on Jensen last night. They might actually still be in bed, fucking like bunnies. And that would be fine. He wanted to have a lot of sex, especially seeing that so far he hadn’t had any. Gay sex, that was. He wanted to find out what the whole fuss about the prostate was and whether gay men were actually as promiscuous as the stereotyping promised. He wanted to explore this side of him that he had probably always known about but only recently admitted existed. There was a whole world of gay out there, all ready for him to enjoy to the fullest, and here he was, sitting in a stranger’s kitchen, fantasizing about marrying him and having his kids! It was stupid and ridiculous and fucking terrifying how much he wanted it.

Especially since he really doubted that was something Jensen was looking for. Sure, they got along great and they joked and they fit together on that couch like two pieces of a very hot puzzle, but… Jensen was recently divorced, plus he had a small kid and a whole lot of issues to work through. A guy in his situation wasn’t looking for a happily ever after life partner, he was looking for a fuck. And possibly a friend. But that was it. And if he didn’t run now Jared wouldn’t trust himself to not give in to letting what little Jensen had to offer be enough.

He entertained Marie while Jensen made them omelets. He joined in their chitchats while they ate. He helped Jensen clean up after. And then he smiled and waved Marie goodbye before grabbing his bag and heading for the door.

“Dude, I’ll drive you,” Jensen said, looking confused as to why Jared was practically running out the door. “You don’t even know where you are.”

Oh. Right. Jared stopped, hand on the door handle. “I can probably find a bus stop,” he said awkwardly but Jensen just rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be stupid,” he said. “Let me just dress Marie and we’ll make a trip out of it.”

Before Jared could protest Jensen already had Marie in his arms and was carrying her into her room, the little girl cheering excitedly at the prospect of a car trip.

Apart from Marie singing to herself they were quiet in the car. Jensen kept shooting Jared looks which he pretended not to notice, all the while smiling and acting as if nothing was wrong. It took them twenty minutes to reach Jared’s street, during which Jensen hadn’t said a single word. But as Jared made to get out of the car Jensen suddenly grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“We’re just gonna lazy around all weekend. You know, if you wanna come over.” He looked so hopeful Jared hated himself for letting him down.

“I have homework,” he said, which was actually true if not really that urgent. Truth was he’d probably finish most of it in less than two hours. “Some other time maybe.”

He tried to make it sound casual but obviously he still managed to come off dismissive because Jensen let abruptly go off his wrist and his face closed off. He nodded and gave Jared a brief courteous smile. “Sure,” he said. “Take care.”

“See you on Monday, sweetie,” Jared said to Marie but she just pouted at him, seeming to share her father’s disappointment. He managed to keep the smile on his face anyway and got out of the car, closing the door and waving as Jensen drove off. Then he walked slowly to his apartment, wondering how the hell he’d managed to get himself in this situation.

\----------

“Tell me again just how tall he is.”

Danny was giggling, had been giggling ever since she handed Jensen his first beer and asked, “So, what crawled up your ass?” and Jensen, totally without realizing the pun, had groaned, “Jared.”

“Shut up,” Jensen grumbled. His head was spinning. He’d had more beers than he’d remembered to count. The shots that Gen for some diabolical reason had decided _had_ to be downed were still debating whether to stay or go. And his best friend was _laughing_ at him. “He’s just… tall. I like tall,” he sighed wistfully.

“I know you do,” she said in fake sympathy and drunkenly patted his arm. “That’s why I set you up with whatshisname.”

“Whatshis…?” Jensen glared at her. “Hey, you said you knew him!”

“I did! I do! We’re grocery buddies. I talk to him at the grocery store all the time.”

“Once,” Gen pointed out helpfully. She was busy eating the fruit in a weird pink cocktail that seemed to have more garnish than actual alcohol.

“Or maybe just that once,” Danny amended. “But he was hot and pretty and really into organic food.”

“Did he buy organic shrimp to poison his date?” Jensen asked surly.

“And I thought to myself,” Danny continued, paying him no mind, “hey, my friend Jensen who really, really needs to get laid because he’s a sad lonely newly-gay who couldn’t flirt his way into a hooker’s ass on Free Fucks For Losers Night, he likes hot pretty guys who can cook!”

“I’m not newly… Fuck you,” Jensen grumbled. “It’s not like I ask for a resume, ‘Please check what applies: can cook, have dick, am gay’.” Sure he liked a guy who could cook but that’s just because he was lazy and didn’t want to do it himself. He wasn’t going to look for someone who loved toilets just because he hated cleaning his own.

“I’d add, ‘Please provide measurements of said dick, length and girth’,” Gen said.

“Yes! You’re so smart, baby. Oh, and stamina.” Danny nodded enthusiastically. “Don’t want him to finish in five seconds.”

“I’m not asking guys for resumes!” Jensen groaned, banging his head on the table and then deciding it might just as well stay there. “Don’t want other guys anyway. Want Jared,” he added with a sad pout.

“Because he’s tall?” Danny asked with a smirk.

“Yeah. And funny. And smart. And Marie loves him. And he has this mole that… And dimples, did I mention the dimples?” he sighed.

“Only five times,” Gen told him.

“Dimples! And his hands are really, _really_ big.”

Jensen sighed again, happily this time, his eyes glazing over as he thought of Jared’s hands and the way Jared’s apparently proportioned dick had poked the back of Jensen’s head that morning they woke up on the couch. That was a week ago. Jared hadn’t been in when Jensen dropped Marie off at the daycare center Monday morning. As this was Joanna’s turn to have their daughter it meant he hadn’t had any excuse to see Jared again all week. Unless going yet again to have dinner at the restaurant Jared worked at, but he already felt like a stalker, going there three times in as many weeks. And he couldn’t help feeling that Jared had been trying to brush him off when Jensen dropped him off at his home. Like maybe he’d realized Jensen liked him and had decided he definitely didn’t like Jensen back. So Jensen had spent the week alone, trying not to feel sad and lonely and doing a horrible job of it. So horrible in fact that Danneel had taken one look at him as they met for lunch and decided he needed a drink, and fast.

“Ooh, I know!” Gen suddenly said and then she started whispering into Danny’s ear, which prompted them both to giggle like crazy.

“What?” Jensen muttered. He was seriously considering falling asleep on the table. It was a nice table. It had a smooth surface and everything.

“Nothing, hon. Hey, I think you need a little food with your alcohol.”

“Nuhuh. Need sleep.”

“Oh no, you don’t. It’s 8 pm, Jensen. Not even losers like you go to bed that early.” Danni pulled his arm to dram him to his feet, his face leaving the table with a distinct suction sound. He might possibly have been drooling a little.

“You’re mean,” he said and wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt. Wasn’t he wearing a jacket? Oh right, there it was on the floor.

“Honey, how can you be this drunk?” Danneel asked, sounding more amused than worried. “You’ve only had three beers.”

“And two shots!” he reminded her but she just raised her eyebrow, clearly not convinced. After all she and Gen had drunk just as much and even if they were tipsy they weren’t at the drooling on tables stage yet. “Maybe I haven’t eaten much today,” he finally admitted. She glared at him. “Or, uh, anything.”

“Seriously, you’re supposed to be a doctor. Practice what you preach!”

“Be good to your mom and look where you’re going next time?” he asked confused.

“Just as well you’re pretty,” she sighed and helped him with his jacket. “Here drink this.” She handed him a big glass of water, which he gulped down quickly in hopes that it would clear his head. It didn’t. It just made his stomach feel really bloated.

“Where are we going?” he muttered. “They have food here. We could just eat here.”

“Last time we ate here I spent the night on the toilet. Not doing that again.”

Jensen grimaced. Okay, so the food wasn’t the best ever but it wasn’t that bad. “So where’re we going then, “ he repeated, stumbling as the girls shooed him out the door.

“How about Italian?” Gen asked.

“Italian sounds good,” Danneel agreed. She was looking really smug for some reason but Jensen was just drunk enough that he didn’t realize why until the taxi came to halt outside a very familiar restaurant.

“Nuhuh, no,” he tried to object but they totally ignored him, dragging him by the arms across the sidewalk and in the door. Two more or less sober girls were more than his drunken ass could handle and before he knew it they were seated in a corner booth with a blond little girl smiling not too enthusiastically at them. Probably because Jensen was doing his best to hide behind Gen in case Jared was working. It wasn’t really working, considering Gen was really, really tiny.

“I hear you have the best steak in town,” Danneel said with a smile that seemed to ease the waitress’s wariness some. “Could you please bring us some? And fries.”

“And beer!” Jensen tried to add but Gen slammed a palm over his mouth and shook her head.

“Water would be nice. Maybe even start with a strong cup of coffee for my friend here while we’re waiting?”

The waitress gave Jensen an apprehensive glance and suddenly her eyes lightened with obvious recognition. “Oh, you’re…” She cut herself off and smiled. “Sure thing. One strong coffee coming right up. And don’t worry,” she added with a conspiring wink at Jensen, “we have plenty of chocolate mousse.” She gave them all a blinding smile and turned on her heel, leaving Jensen to sink in his seat, wishing the floor would swallow him.

“Chocolate mousse?” Danneel asked, raising that infuriating eyebrow again.

“Shut up. It’s good,” Jensen mumbled. “Comes recommended.”

“By a certain tall man with very big hands?”

Jensen glared at her. “What are we doing here?”

“I need to see what the fuss is about,” Danneel said. “And maybe get him to ask you out so you stop being such a miserable sourpuss.”

“What? No!” Jensen tried to stand up, panicking, but Gen shoved him back into his seat. “Danny, no. He’s gonna… he’s gonna think I’m… please.” He put up his best puppy look but Danneel just snorted.

“Please, like that works on me. Relax, I’m not gonna embarrass you. Much.”

She plastered on a smile as their waitress returned with three glasses of water, a pitcher and an espresso cup, filled to the brim with tar black liquid. “Jared made it himself. He says he’ll be out in a minute.”

This time Jensen tried to crawl under the table but Danneel kicked him in the shin which promptly put a stop to that. With a groan he slumped in his seat and prepared to meet his doom. Sure enough, he’d hardly had time to sip the would-make-Satan-cry espresso before Jared was walking over. He looked just as cute and tall and fuckable as always, but there was a slight wariness about him that made Jensen’s stomach clench. Like maybe he didn’t actually appreciate Jensen the crazy stalker showing up at his workplace all the time.

“Hey,” Jared said with a smile as soon as he reached their table. “Haven’t seen you for a while.”

Jensen flashed him a smile. It felt fake and apparently looked it as well because Jared seemed to become even more guarded.

“Hi, I’m Danneel,” Danny said, waving to catch their attention. “This is my girlfriend Gen. Nice to meet you.”

Jensen groaned inwardly. Way to bluntly let Jared know she wasn't _his_ girlfriend. She knew that Jared knew he was gay so the reason for her introduction was embarrassingly obvious.

But Jared’s face just lit up. “Oh, you’re the friend. The friend. The best friend. The one with the apron.”

Danneel smiled. “That would be me. So you’ve seen the apron, huh. I didn’t know Jensen had invited you home, he’s usually a reclusive hermit.” She gave Jensen the raised eyebrow again.

Jensen wanted to strangle her. And kill himself. Not necessarily in that order. He’d been very careful not to mention Jared’s little overnight adventure, knowing perfectly well how she would interpret it. “How’s the head?” he asked instead, pretending not to have heard her. There was a rather colorful bruise on Jared’s forehead but he seemed fine enough.

“Still attached,” Jared said with a grin. “It’s fine. Really, no more headaches. Thank you for, for letting me stay over. That was…” He suddenly seemed to notice the girls staring at him. “Uhm. The couch, the couch was very comfy.”

Danneel smirked. “The couch, huh. Well, Jensen does like sleeping on that couch.” The smirk turned positively devilish when both Jared and Jensen managed to blush in a matching shade of pink.

“Right. Well, I need to get back into the kitchen,” Jared said with a strained smile.

“We’ll be here,” Gen said cheerfully. “Eating the famously orgasmic food and keeping Jen company until you get off. When’s that again?”

“Uhm…” Jared laughed awkwardly. “Not for a while yet. I’ll actually be closing–“

“Ten,” said the blond waitress with a grin as she walked past carrying two plates from the kitchen. “He’s off at ten.”

Jared looked startled. “What? No, I’m–“

“Jeff says ten,” the girl threw back over her shoulder. She presented an elderly couple with their food and a smile before strolling back to the kitchen, looking smug as hell.

“Or whenever they’re done eating,” a deep voice yelled as she pushed open the swing doors. “I’m not missing out on paying customers just because you need to get laid, Padalecki.“

Jared looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him. Or possibly his friends. After he chopped their heads off with a very big kitchen knife. Jensen could relate. He wasn’t sure which one of them had worse friends, him or Jared. Obviously they should get themselves some new ones. Like each other.

“I’m just-just gonna...” Jared stammered and then he fled back through the kitchen doors, leaving Jensen to thud his head on the table while Danneel and Gen proceeded to cackle like the evil witches they were.

“I’m gonna kill you,” he groaned. “Both of you. Just as soon as I finish bashing my own head in on this very nice and sturdy table.”

“Don’t be such a drama queen,” Danneel dismissed. “He obviously likes you. I mean, those pants really don’t hide anything, do they?” Danneel slipped a bundle of napkins under Jensen’s head to stop him from hurting himself, or possibly to muffle the noise, and patted him gently on the arm. “And I can see why you like him. If I actually preferred real dick to my girlfriend’s strap-on I’d be moaning like a bitch about it too.”

“Hey!” Gen glared at her. “My strap-on might not be real but the way I use it–”

“Oh god,” Jensen groaned. “Stop. I’m gonna be sick.” He rested his head on the napkins and closed his eyes. “And I don’t just like his dick,” he added forlornly. “I haven’t even seen his dick. You see more dick than I do and you’re a lesbian.”

“Only because I’m not embarrassed to go shopping for one. Seriously, Jen, there’s nothing wrong with owning a dildo. Embrace your love for penises and celebrate it with a ten inch long cock up your ass.”

“Your drinks,” a horribly familiar and smug voice said as a big glass of water was placed right in front of Jensen’s nose. He looked up warily and sure enough, there stood Chad, smirking. He gave the girls a smile that was possibly supposed to be seducing but instead looked very creepy. “And it’s eleven,” he added casually.

Jensen blinked up at him, uncomprehending, until it suddenly hit him and his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open before he could even think to compose himself. “Jesus Christ!”

“That’s pretty much what I said,” Chad agreed. Noticing that the whole table was still staring at him he added hastily, “Not that him and me… Nuhuh, I’m all ladies man.” He gave Danneel and Gen the creepy grin again. “Singular or plural, your choice.”

“First off, ew. Never gonna happen. Mention it again and I’ll shove your testicles up your own ass,” Gen said icily. “Second, how the hell is _that_ guy a virgin? Third, eleven fucking inches? Are you kidding me?” She narrowed her eyes. “How do you know?”

Chad looked slightly affronted. “Hey, it was just an offer. I can take a hint. And he’s only a gay virgin, he had a really hot girlfriend before he ditched pussy for dick last year.” He lowered his voice. “Seriously, so hot. I can show you pictures. Legit. She was a centerfold babe a couple of months ago. She’s got tits like…” He raised his eyebrows and cupped his hands in front of his chest at a distance that had Danneel looking very interested, until Gen kicked her under the table. “Anyway, we’re roommates and there’s only one bathroom. I’ve seen more than a straight guy should ever have to see, know what I mean?”

“You like to spy on him in the shower?” Danneel asked innocently.

“What? No! I’m–”

“Chad, get your ass in the kitchen, right now!” Jared growled, making them all jump. Somehow he’d managed to sneak up on them while the girls were probably busy picturing Jared’s ex-girlfriend’s boobs and Jensen was still trying to wrap his brain around Jared’s eleven fucking inches and apparent gay virgin status.

Chad had the decency to look a tiny bit embarrassed as he slinked away, leaving the four of them in awkward silence. Finally Jared cleared his throat and said coolly, “Jensen, a word?”

Jensen nodded dumbly. He had to shove Gen out of the booth to be able to get to his feet and then he stumbled after Jared through the restaurant and out, at the same time feeling too drunk and too sober for the horrible conversation he was sure they were about to have. Jared walked to the side of the building and into a small alley before turning around and fixing his eyes on Jensen who swallowed nervously.

“Look, I didn’t… I wasn’t… He started talking about your dick all on his own!”

Jared didn’t say anything, just… watched him. He didn’t really look mad anymore. If Jensen were to guess he’d say Jared looked disappointed. Which was actually so much worse.

“I didn’t know they were taking me here,” Jensen blabbered on. “I wasn’t…” He felt dizzy suddenly and threw out his arm to steady himself on the wall. “Fuck. I’m really fucking drunk.”

Jared sighed. “Jensen…”

“I know. I’ll, I’ll go. Just, give me a minute.” It wasn’t really that he couldn’t walk straight, he just felt a lot more comfortable staring at the wall than letting Jared see just how miserable he felt.

“I haven’t seen you around,” Jared said quietly after a while of awkward silence.

“Not my week,” Jensen mumbled, still staring at the wall. It wasn’t even a nice wall. In fact, he was pretty sure he was leaning into a urine stain. “Joanna… it’s her week.”

“You could have come here. Without your posse.”

Jensen snorted. “They’re more like harpies.” He risked a glance up and caught Jared looking sadly back. “I didn’t think you wanted me to,” he added, hoping Jared would contradict him.

“Jensen, look,” Jared said tiredly.

Jensen’s heart fell. So he hadn’t been wrong. “It’s okay,” he said, even if it was anything but. He tried for a smile. “I mean, I wouldn’t date me. Or, you know, anything. With the kid and the whole, you know, all that shit. You’re young and hot and funny and really nice and I’m a, a dad. Old and boring and, and... So, so, don’t worry about it. I’ll just…” He straightened up and took a cautious step out of the alley. He didn’t feel quite as dizzy anymore but you never knew.

“You wanted to date me?” Jared said slowly. He sounded surprised which Jensen thought was rather insulting. He might not be catch of the year but he wasn’t like repulsive or anything.

“Maybe? Yeah. I mean, yes. Who wouldn’t? You’re… you. Even Marie likes you. I thought maybe, maybe… you know. We could… I don’t know, try? But I wasn’t gonna be, you know, a dick about it.” He waved his hand awkwardly.

Jared stared at him. “You wanted us to… to date? Like, really be together? With Marie and everything?”

Jensen suddenly felt angry. Didn’t matter that the charges were dropped or that, hello, it was all _bullshit_ , it was gonna follow him for the rest of his life. Fuck Joanna and her fucking lies and fuck Jared for not being able to see beyond them. “Yeah. Why’d you want that, right? Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone.” He turned and started walking away but Jared grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Hey, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I just…” Jared shook his head. “You never gave any hint that you wanted us to even… well, _anything_.”

Jensen stared at him. “What the hell do you think I’ve been doing these last weeks?”

Jared blinked and then he started laughing. “Seriously, that was you flirting? Dude, you suck at it. The worst ever. And I know Chad.”

Jensen ripped his arm free. He wasn’t gonna take insults like that from a damn gay virgin, thank you very much. Even if he was one himself. “Fuck you. I’m out of practice, okay. I haven’t, like, well, ever.”

Jared grinned. “Ever?”

“Hit on a guy,” Jensen admitted through gritted teeth. “I’d never hit on a guy. I didn’t know how.”

“Well, how did you hit on girls?” Jared asked.

Jensen flushed. “I don’t know. It’s been years, okay? I… I guess I told them they looked nice.”

Jared took a step closer. He was still smiling which was really fucking confusing because Jensen though they were arguing. Even if he couldn’t really remember what about.

“Well? Don’t I look nice?”

Jensen swallowed. Jared’s shirt was stretched across his chest, showing off every single muscle. His big hands were palm up, an innocent gesture that made Jensen think of how gentle Jared’s hand would be. And strong. And possibly rough if Jensen asked him to. He was suddenly painfully aware of his dick again. “Yeah, you- you do.”

“What else did you say?” Jared asked. His voice was lower, his eyes seemed darker. The alley suddenly felt very narrow.

“That–“ Jensen cleared his throat. His heart was beating really fast. “That they smelled good.”

Jared leaned closer. He drew a deep breath, right by Jensen’s ear. “Mmm. I’d say that goes for guys too. What else?”

Jensen hitched his breath. “I-I don’t remember. That, that… oh god.” Jared’s hands were on his hips. Fingers spreading across his lower back. They were standing so close now that Jensen could smell Jared’s skin underneath the smell of food that clung to the crisp white shirt and feel the heat steaming from his body. “I think… I think this is when I kissed them.”

Jared gazed down at him and licked his lips expectantly. Jensen swallowed. He suddenly felt panic. God, he didn’t know how to do this. He was over six feet, for fuck’s sake. He’d always had to lean down to kiss Joanna, even when she was wearing her highest heels, and he suddenly realized he had no idea how to tilt his face from this angle. Like, did he go left or right? And who was supposed to go first? Just because Jared was taller didn’t mean he was running the show, right? Oh god, it didn’t work like that, did it? He wasn’t the girl now just because he was shorter? And by girl he meant the one who’d be on the receiving end. The receiving end of Jared’s eleven. fucking. inches. Oh god. Oh god. Oh–

He didn’t even see Jared moving. Suddenly there were just long fingers cradling his face, thumbs stroking his cheeks softly then gently tilting his head – left! – and before he had time to even hitch his breath in anticipation Jared’s lips were on his, soft and damp and warm.

Jensen closed his eyes.

Jared was kissing him. They were…

Jensen let out a small noise, half shocked, half desperate, and Jared kissed him harder, moaning. The sound tickled Jensen’s lips which for some reason made him open his mouth and just like that Jared’s tongue was there, licking its way in, huge and overwhelming like the rest of him. Jensen felt faint. He grabbed on to Jared’s shirt, a fleeting thought about how it would get all creased up flew by as he fisted the skin-warm thin cotton and pulled Jared even closer. He could feel his knees weakening but before they had a chance to fold Jared’s thigh was there, pressing in between Jensen’s legs and just like that Jensen was riding him, rubbing his dick desperately against the soft dark material of Jared’s pants, making noises he couldn’t remember ever making before, desperate, hungry noises that he’d feel embarrassed about if he’d been sober and had any thought beyond need and lust and wanting to strip Jared naked, right there.

“Fuck,” Jared gasped, his hands moving from Jensen’s face to grab him once again around the hips, then he was cupping Jensen’s ass, kneading with every desperate thrust of Jensen’s hips and breathing so hot and harshly in his ear Jensen thought it might melt. “Jensen, we can’t… Not here.”

Jensen highly disagreed. They could and he wanted and he was. He caught Jared’s mouth again, kissing him deep and hard and breathing faster and faster through his nose until, thinking he’d pass out from lack of oxygen, he tore his mouth away, gulped in air then buried his face in Jared’s neck to muffle the sound of a shout as he came – right there, in his pants, in a dirty alley with his best friends on the other side of a piss-stained wall, probably knowing exactly what they were doing – so hard the world went white for a second.

He swam back to the surface to discover Jared still rubbing up against him, muttering what sounded like “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” through gritted teeth. Jensen didn’t even think, he just let go of Jared’s shirt and let gravity work its magic, Jared humping him the whole way down. “Jensen, what are you…” he groaned but Jensen had long stopped listening. He fumbled with Jared’s button, finally getting it undone, ripped at the zipper and shoved down Jared’s pants and underwear in one move. He’d told himself he knew what he was doing, although really he was too dizzy to have any idea, but still the force of Jared’s dick springing free and hitting him on the head took Jensen completely by surprise.

For a moment he just sat there, staring. Chad hadn’t been kidding. Not that Jensen knew exactly what eleven inches of cock looked like but he’d guess Chad’s estimate came pretty close. That was… “Fuck.”

“Jensen?”

“I’m gonna… okay. I can do this.”

“You don’t have to. I can just…” Jared’s hand moved to grab his dick but Jensen slapped it away.

“No. I’m doing this. I’m… Jesus fucking Christ. Is there a Guinnes record for dicks? Because I think you beat it.”

“You obviously don’t watch gay porn,” Jared laughed awkwardly, breath still heaving. His hands were hovering above Jensen’s head, like he had no idea where to put them.

Jensen groaned. “Don’t talk to me about gay porn. I don’t want to think about that, that _thing_ going into my ass right now.” He took a few deep breaths. Baby steps, baby steps. “Ok, here we go.”

He grabbed Jared’s dick by the hilt, enjoying the sound of Jared sucking in his breath, then leaned in with his tongue sticking out and tried to imagine the huge lollipop his parents had gotten him at Disneyland when he was ten. It had been a rainbow twirl lollipop, which maybe should have given his parents pause, considering how enthusiastically he’d devoured it, licking and sucking and practically fellating it like it was a gay sign sent to him from candy heaven.

Jared’s dick didn’t taste anything like that lollipop. It was probably as clean as a dick could be but there was still a salty taste, which combined with the musky smell of Jared’s skin made Jensen feel light headed. His lips were too dry and chapped from him being a nervous wreck the whole week and kept getting caught between Jared’s dick and Jensen’s teeth as he risked sucking Jared into his mouth. Precome smeared on his tongue and the roof of his mouth, kinda slimy and stringy. His tongue suddenly seemed to take up too much space in his mouth, now it had to share it with Jared’s massive cock, and no matter where he tried to put it, it always seemed to get in the way. Fuck, how did girls do this? Or, you know, other gay guys. He had a feeling he was performing the worst blowjob in the history of the universe.

Jensen pulled off, breathing heavily and licking his lips as wet as he could while desperately willing some saliva in his mouth. Seemed lubrication was key in this just like in… Jensen hastily halted that thought as his butt cheeks clenched. Not now. Later. He’d worry about that later.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jared suddenly said.

His voice sounded wrecked and when Jensen looked up he was surprised to see Jared staring down at him like… like he was actually enjoying this. A lot. Like maybe Jensen wasn’t as bad as he thought.

“Yeah, keep your eyes on me,” Jared growled. “I wanna, wanna see you. That mouth, swallowing my cock. Fuck, your lips, man.”

The heat in his voice made Jensen gulp and accidentally swallow all the saliva he’d meticulously been saving up for the next round. Damn. Okay, new tactic. He kept his eyes on Jared, opened his mouth and waited. It took a moment but then Jared got it. His eyes darkened, he put one giant hand on the back of Jensen’s head, running his fingers through his hair, then grabbed hold and pulled him forward. Jensen had to struggle to keep his eyes open as Jared’s cock slid into his mouth, deeper and deeper. He relaxed his throat as best he could, pushed his chest forward so his head tilted back and swallowed and swallowed as the tip reached the back of his throat and started to slide down. His eyes watered as he realized he had no way of breathing because Jared’s dick totally closed off his airway. Just as Jensen started to panic, Jared pulled back, leaving him room to breathe and plenty of saliva to drool down his chin. Jensen blinked his eyes clear, keeping his lips tight around Jared’s dick as he sucked in air through his nose and tried not to think about how ridiculous he must look.

“Look at you,” Jared groaned. “Fuck, Jensen. So hot. You’re so fucking hot.”

He pushed forward again and this time it was easier, probably because Jensen was drooling like a dog by now and, if he was honest, he liked feeling Jared’s cock push down his throat. It was weird, it should have him gagging and fighting to breathe but instead he struggled against Jared’s grip on his hair to lean forward and suck Jared’s dick deeper down, hollowing his cheeks and tightening his lips to feel the thickness push into him, so hard and still so silky soft and god, he was going to go to gay heaven, choking to death on Jared’s cock.

Jared pulled back, Jensen sucked in his breath and then they did it all over again, and again, and again, until Jensen felt so light headed he was sure he was going to pass out and Jared’s thighs were trembling and his thrusts were becoming erratic and just as Jensen started seeing stars twinkling in Jared’s pubic hair as the alley grew darker Jared groaned loudly and filled his mouth with thick salty liquid.

I should probably swallow, Jensen thought and then he lost his balance, fell forward and crushed Jared’s balls with his head.


	4. Epilogue.

Christmas 2013

“You should quit the job at the restaurant,” Jensen murmured. “It’s too much, working there and at the daycare and being in school.”

“I’m not the one almost comatose from working too much,” Jared said with a smile. He was lying on Jensen’s couch with Jensen on top of him and _America’s Next Top Model_ Christmas reruns playing on TV. He didn’t really know why they even tried, none of the models came even close to Jensen’s prettiness. “Logically speaking I should quit the daycare center then, I’ve been at the restaurant much longer.”

Jensen rubbed his cheek against Jared’s chest as if shaking his head. “Marie would kill me if I made you quit the daycare.”

“Marie is three years old,” Jared pointed out with a laugh.

“She has skills,” Jensen insisted. “Like a cute little ninja.” He breathed deep. “I miss her.”

Jared stroked his hair soothingly. “We’ll have her for New Year’s. And next Christmas it’s our turn.”

“I know. Just…” Jensen didn’t finish but he didn’t have to. She was as much a part of Jared’s life now as she was Jensen’s and he felt almost guilty that he got to see her more than Jensen did, even if she had moved on to Sunshineland some months ago and therefore wasn’t under his direct care in Rainbowland anymore.

“I think we need to make up a better story,” Jared said to distract them both.

“Story?” Jensen mumbled. He’d been trying to convince Jared for the last half hour, in between soft snores and drooling a wet spot on Jared’s new t-shirt, that he wasn’t falling asleep.

“About how we got together,” Jared explained. “Because my mom is going to ask when we visit for New Year’s. And, you know, some day Marie might want to know.”

Jensen sniffled. “I think our story is beautiful.”

Jared laughed. He dropped a kiss on Jensen’s head and wrapped his arms tighter around him. “The blowjob in the piss-stinking alley part or you puking in the toilet while your friends iced my balls part?”

“Both.” Jensen yawned. “As long as we don’t tell them about our awful first date.”

“It wasn’t _that_ awful,” Jared protested.

Jensen snorted. “We ran into Joanna who called us faggots, loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.”

“And they threw her out,” Jared pointed out.

“Then I spilled red wine all over your shirt,” Jensen continued, ignoring him.

Jared dismissed that with a wave. “I was gonna take it off anyway.”

“And then I panicked when you tried to put your giant horse dick into my ass,” Jensen groaned and Jared could feel through the t-shirt how Jensen’s face flushed hot.

“So instead you put your dick in my ass and we had the greatest sex ever,” Jared reminded him patiently.

Jensen gave a strangled laugh. “We fell off the bed! You laughed so much you couldn’t breathe.”

“And then you said you loved me.”

Jensen stilled. After a moment he shifted, heaving himself up on his elbows and looking down at Jared, who couldn’t hide his sappy smile. “I did,” Jensen admitted softly. “And you said…”

“‘I know’,” Jared finished. “And you got it.”

Jensen smiled. “I already knew you were a huge Star Wars geek so yeah, wasn’t that hard.”

“Guess that makes you Leia,” Jared pointed out smugly because hey, it definitely made him Han Solo.

But Jensen just grinned. “You should see me in a gold bikini.”

Jared licked his lips. Actually, he could very well picture Jensen in a gold bikini. Maybe not with the braids but definitely the shackles. Or just plain old handcuffs. Or ties. Jensen did have some really ugly ties that needed a higher purpose. Now there was a thought.

He must have given something away because Jensen laughed and shook his head. “In your dreams, man.”

“Oh, definitely in my dreams,” Jared growled. He grabbed Jensen by the neck and kissed him, first hard then deep and long until Jensen was grinding down on him, panting and whimpering. Jared pulled away and pushed Jensen off him. “Bed, now.”

“I’m too tired, I don’t wanna walk,” Jensen complained. “Couch, couch is good.”

“Not for what I have in mind,” Jared said, pulling Jensen up by his arm and dragging him toward the bedroom.

“What, what do you have in mind?” Jensen asked, sounding a little out of breath.

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough,” Jared told him. “Now, where did I put that buttplug set Danneel gave us?”

He could hear Jensen gulp but if anything he picked up his pace so Jared wasn’t worried. After all, he had it on good authority that Jensen had been the one to ask the girls for that particular Christmas present. Even if he might not have anticipated there to be quite that many. And pink.

Anyway, Jared figured if they got started now Jensen would be ready, and hopefully still able to walk more or less normal, by the time they went down to Texas with Marie to meet his parents for New Year’s Eve. And hey, what better way to start the new year than with a big bang?

fin

Happy New Year!!


End file.
